Apprentice Writer

Cover Art Snark & Author Self-Mockery: Woot!

2012-02-09T19:47:00.000-08:00

Apprentice Writer appreciates people who don't take themselves too seriously. She flat out adores readers who like a genre but can recognize the over-the-top elements in it. She got a does of both from the lovely and talented Scientist Gone Wordy, who made AW snort tea at breakfast with a link to author Jim C. Hines' reflectionss on urban fantasy/scifi cover art.

He doesn't just opine. He conducts research.

That's right. He tries to recreate cover poses.

Bravo to Mrs. Hines for having a spouse with the chutzpah to post the far-from-pretty results.

Notable Quotes

2012-01-12T11:38:00.000-08:00

From "Wicked Appetite", Janet Evanovich, 2010, p. 1

"I graduated (from culinary arts school) in the top ninety-three percent of my class, and I would have graduated higher, but I flunked in gravy. My gravy had lumps in it, and that pretty much sums up my life so far. Not that it's been all bad; more that it hasn't been entirely smooth."

Apprentice Writer thinks this is an excellent little bit of opening characterization. The summary skillfully depicts the protagonist as "Average Girl Next Door", with neither an especially privileged nor deprived background. The choice of gravy, of all the thousands of potential foodstuffs available, is a brilliant metaphor to reinforce the Everywoman concept. Compared to flunking, say, escargots (denotes haute cuisine) or casseroles (denotes cooking on a budget), gravy seems both middle of the road and bland. Certainly not representative of paranormal excitement or forbidden men thrill, precisely what our cupcake-baking, gravy-failing Girl Next Door is about to run into. So with this opening paragraph, the author has set the stage for upcoming dramatic tension and collision of very different worlds.

Even funnier than the gravy is "....in the top 93%". This means that only 7% of the whole class had worse marks than she did - not exactly the kind of thing one usually highlights. Gotta love a heroine with the chutzpah to draw attention to such scores.

Well done!

2012

2012-01-02T21:22:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year, Gentle Reader. May you not be eaten.

12 Days of Christmas - Redux

2011-12-21T08:34:00.000-08:00

In this corner of the world, it is currently impossible to avoid game fowl attached to fruit crops. Sometimes, this alternates with spinning dreidel type music; Apprentice Writer has yet to hear any Divali or Kwanzaa music on the radio. Partridge-bearing pear trees dominate.

They also beg the question: what kind of person really thinks it's a good idea to prove his true love with a hen that speaks French or men in a hop/skip/jump competition?

Today, alternate suggestions from a trio of Canadians.

From Antonia Zerbisias, columnist with the Toronto Star :

"On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
A penthouse apartment,
A driver and a Beamer,
10 Botox treatments,
9 spa vacations,
8 maids a-cleaning,
7 Prada outfits,
6 Manohlo Blahniks,
more closet space,
4 Cartier watches,
3 French dinners,
2 Hermes scarves,
And a pug in a purse Gucci!"

If Antonia's tastes are too elevated, there is always Bob & Doug McKenzie (aka Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas of SCTV):

"On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
twelve dozen doughnuts,
...
8 comic books
7 packs of smokes
6 packs of 2-4's
5 golden tuques
4 pounds of back bacon
3 French toast
2 turtlenecks
and a beer in a tree!"

In Apprentice Writer's house, that would be a root beer.

If this is the season for the Gentle Reader to celebrate: many happy returns, and AW wishes you your preferred gifts, feathers included or not.

Book Activists Unite!

2011-12-07T12:31:00.000-08:00

There are two kinds of people in world: those who are passionate about books, and everyone else.

Of the passionate group, there are also two kinds: those who pull back with glum sigh when bookdom is threatened, and those who take up (symbolic) arms in defence.

Mr. Bill Wrigley of Toronto is an engineer and bridge builder by profession, who appears to hold the motto, "When the going gets tough, the tough get building!"

In an early instance of toughness, he regarded his wife's 3000+ mysteries and apparently concluded that a bookshelf probably wouldn't do. Rather than harping on her to dissolve the collection, he built her a reading room with such features as secret doors and a button on one volume's spine which ignites the fireplace when pressed.

Apprentice Writer would have adored Mr. Wrigley for that alone. But!

He has now gone on to new heights of heroism. How, the Gentle Reader may ask?

Toronto currently has a mayor who won the election by promising to "Stop the Gravytrain" (i.e. eliminate wasteful spending at city hall). Once elected, he found there was surprisingly little actual gravy on the train. In order to fulfill election promises, he has embarked on an in-depth examination of city expenditure with a view to cutting/selling.

One of the culling candidates is the city library service, with some branches projected for outright closure and others "merely" looking at limitations like weekend closures (when user numbers have traditionally been highest). When literary giant Margaret Atwood protested, the mayor famously stated that he would probably not recognize her on the street.

Many Torontonians responded by forming unfavorable conclusions about a holder of Canadian public office who didn't know who Margaret Atwood is. Mr. Wrigley did something much more useful: he built a Little Free Library on his street.

It is open 24/7, operates on the principle of take one, leave one, and is carefully stocked with items that appeal to various age groups. It had its grand opening celebration this past weekend.

Mr. Wrigley considered inviting Margaret Atwood but decided he didn't want to make political statements.

Bravo, Mr. Wrigley, for this gem of an example of "Deeds, not Words", and for making your neighborhood more interactive and neighborhoody. Apprentice Writer hopes that in future there will be friendly competitions of who can build the most architecturally interesting Little Free Library in their town.

"And now a pause for jocularity...."

2011-11-22T10:48:00.000-08:00

Apprentice Writer is deep in the throes (this will shortly strike the Gentle Reader as funny) of new-and-improving her query.

A query, for those who may not live in the book world, is a brief letter an aspiring author addresses to a literary agent. It is supposed to entice the agent to read the first pages of a manuscript and then hopefully sign the writer on as a client before going on to sell that manuscript to a publisher on the writer's behalf.

New-and-improving her query currently involves working through the archives of the blog Query Shark by literary agent Janet Reid. Ms. Reid routinely eviscerates (her word) the queries voluntarily sent in by hopefuls such as AW. Witnessing the dismemberment is in equal parts terrifying and educational; AW is in awe of the hapless writers who dare present their work for the shark and all the blogosphere to see.

Tucked in among the earnest efforts is the occasional spoof. AW came across one today that made her laugh so much she wanted to share. Enjoy.

Notable Quotes: 'Huh?' Edition

2011-11-16T11:48:00.001-08:00

"Classical musicians were the rock stars of their day, much like the rock stars of today are the notaries public of tomorrow."

Anyone care to explain to Apprentice Writer what, exactly, this means?

In case it's helpful: it was taken from today's Groupon email attempting to entice AW with the featured deal of the day. For the curious: AW chose not to take advantage of it.

Book Launch: SAINT SANGUINUS

2011-11-11T19:50:00.000-08:00

The absotively, posilutely best thing about the interwebs is discovering like-minded friends in far-off places.

Today is launch day for SAINT SANGUINUS,
the debut novel of Apprentice Writer's online amiga Julia Phillips Smith. AW is delighted to introduce this brand-spanking new author, and have the chance to pick her newly professional writerly brain.

Congratulations, Julia! First things first: the cover. Did you have input regarding art or title?

One of the pluses - or minuses depending on your point of view - of self-publishing is the amount of creative control an author has over the finished product. In traditional publishing one can fill out a style sheet and suggest things, but it's really the marketing department that has the final say as to cover art and title of the book. An author has to trust that it's in the best interests of everyone involved to produce the best cover possible, with the catchiest, stop-em-in-their tracks title, ever.

With self-publishing, it's important to pay attention to other covers currently in the marketplace. Does your genre tend to feature a hero brandishing a weapon? Does your genre currently trend toward blue covers, or red, or orange? What do the covers of the top sellers in your genre look like?

Unless you're someone with graphic design skills, I wouldn't recommend designing your own cover. Hiring a professional to do your story justice - a story into which you've likely poured your heart and soul - will result in the wonderful moment when you first gaze upon a dream come true.

As for my title, I followed the time-honored convention of naming a superhero origin story after the title character.

The title certainly is memorable! What comes to you first: hero? Heroine? Ending? One-liners?

For me, stories always come in a vision-like flash. I'll be minding my own business, and then wham! I'm deep in the midst of a dramatic sequence unfolding in my mind's eye, and I haven't the slightest clue what's going on. Who is he? Why are they doing that to him? What's going on here?

Then I have to sort out what's what, almost like stumbling into a playground fight and listening to everyone's 'He started it!'

I can honestly say no character has ever come to me in quite that way. What's your favorite scene in 'Saint Sanguinus'?

My favorite scene comes toward the end, during the big set piece. Hero in jeopardy, deep in the Black Moment - my favorite! If it was a film, it would be the part I obsessively watch over and over again. Not that I'm prone to doing that *cough, cough*

Heh. What's a typical writing day look like for you?
Once upon a time, I didn't have a typical writing day. I wrote in creative bursts.

But over the years I've definitely developed a writing routine. Mon-Fri I work at my day job. So during the week I wait until evening to climb into the creativity cockpit. I'm a night owl by nature, so writing from 8:30-12:30 or sometimes 2:00am works best for me. That's when I'm really on. Even on the weekends, when theoretically I could write at any time, I still do my best writing between 8:00 pm and 2:00 am.

I love the image of climbing into the creativity cockpit. How does your family feel about you being an author?

I come from a creative background, so I've always had 100% support. No need to explain why I need to hibernate and ignore the garden, for example. Even my dog seems to encourage my scheduled time at the computer.

My garden and children don't seem to operate that way. Your best writing habit?

This has evolved directly from participating in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month - taking place right now! www.nanowrimo.org). I followed one character exclusively during the writing marathon, realizing it took too much mental rearranging to go back and forth between points of view. I then followed the heroine's POV exclusively. This helped me to realize that immersing myself wholly into the character is vital, and it's a new way of working that I'm now applying to all my stories.

I've never tried that technique before. Perhaps I should experiment! Worst writing vice?

Trying to tune into the revisions channel in my head. For the longest time, I thought it was a matter of finely tuning the same invisible dial that brought me to the story in the first place. Finally, it dawned on me that there is no revisions channel, at least not like the Generating A New Story channel that runs 24/7 in my mind.

Instead I had to get my own shiny revisions toolkit from the Put On Your Big Girl Panties store and just get on with it.

Social Networking: wolf in sheep's clothing or blessing in disguise?

Social networking is an immense, globally available, free marketing tool no writer should leave out of his or her press kit.

As a longtime blogger, I have online friendships with people all over the world. Think of attempting to spread word-of-mouth promo in countries like Australia, England, Denmark, Israel and all across the US by traditional means. This is already accomplished for me, because I have blog friends in all those places.

Nightstand Inspection! What was the last ____ you read?

Contemporary: The Christmas Baby Bump, by Lynne Marshall
Historical: Heiress in Love, by Christina Brooke
UF/Paranormal/Fantasy: The Strangely Beautiful Tale of Miss Percy Parker, by Leanna Renee Hieber
Mystery/Suspense/Thriller: Spring Break, by Kayla Perrin
Memoir/Non-Fiction: The Supernatural Companions, by Nicholas Knight

That's quite the diverse lineup. Who is your writing idol and why?

Jo Beverly. She takes the time to place the reader squarely in the time and place of her historical romances, without ever slowing the pace of her stories. She never lets modern sensibilities intrude upon the historical tale she's telling. She manages to address the unromantic truths of her historic time periods without losing the shine of her happily ever after. Plus, she's a master of dialogue that carries the rhythms of real speakers, while still managing to weave story momentum within it.

Wow. I hope I write stories like Jo Beverly when I grow up. Just, like, in contemporary times and with comedy instead of historical drama and stuff.
Which literary character do you wish you'd thought of first?

Quentin Tarantino's The Bride from the "Kill Bill" series. But I'm glad he did think of such a kick-ass heroine.

You betray your roots by your choice of ultimate character from cinema instead of printed page!
Best piece of advice for aspiring writers?

The biggest thing - when you hit the point when you leave behind the infatuation stage with your own raw talent and now face the cliff-climbing phase of perfecting your craft - once you get to the top of that cliff, you will be like The Bride. You will kick ass yourself. Keep going.

I'm somewhere on that cliff now too.
How much tech know-how should one have to self-publish? Should a person like Apprentice Writer who barely manages to log on to Twitter or Facebook simply exclude that road to publication?

No, you don't have to exclude it. But you will have to be willing to pay other people to do the various aspects for you.

Self-publishing means wearing many hats, but it doesn't mean you will do every job yourself. I've hired my own little project team to prepare SAINT SANGUINUS for publication, including a graphic designer for the cover, a producer for the book trailer, a copy editor/proofreader for the manuscript and a formatter for the e-book prep.

Each book will require its own creative/technical team. Skimping on these aspects will produce an inferior product going out to readers, and I personally don't want to have my name on that.

A true co-operative effort. Anything else you'd like to share with AW's readers?

There was a time in my life when following my dreams seemed to have turned into a colossal joke. In embracing my artistic aspirations, I had a film degree but no way to pursue that field, because unforeseen health issues made working for free - in order to collect film credits - a complete impossibility.

Obviously, even through truly soul-crushing times, I managed somehow to hold onto my original dreams. Even though I tried to keep them at arms' length, they hid in little places deep inside of me. I kept working at telling stories by learning to write novels instead of making films.

In my personal life, my husband and I managed to climb out of the financial pit in which we'd languished. The health issues continued, but over time we've learned not only how to live with them, but flourish despite them. Suddenly, planets alligned or something, because things started falling into place at a rapid rate this year.

So what I'd like to share with your readers is this. Life really does kick you in the gut sometimes. The dark part of "...it's always darkest before the dawn..." can choke you into unconsciousness. But take it from me.

DON'T give up. NEVER give up.

Thanks Julia, for showing your story so honestly.

Gentle Readers, you can purchase SAINT SANGUINUS from Amazon from 18 November.

Visit Julia at www.juliaphillipssmith.com to learn more.

Review: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT LOVE I LEARNED FROM ROMANCE NOVELS

2011-10-20T10:21:00.000-07:00

EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT LOVE
I LEARNED FROM ROMANCE NOVELS
Sarah Wendell
Non-Fiction
Sourcebooks, October 2011

Premise: Blogger and devotee of the much-maligned genre draws helpful real-life insights about personal growth and relationships from the books, their authors, and their fans.

Cover: In a book with an already high tongue-in-cheek factor, the cover may be the tongue-in-cheekiest of all. The iconic clinch-cover image is obscured by what looks like brown paper wrapping, a clear and sassy nod to the perception that the genre is merely "chick porn" (hence reference to delivery method of X-rated material in the days before internet and the author's name looking handwritten, as in a postal address). It made Apprentice Writer laugh, which is a great way to begin a relationship with a book before the first page is even read.

What Works: A lot.

The author's trademark funny, breezy, low-key conversational style, familiar to legions of her website and twitter followers, translates seamlessly to the printed non-fiction page. New readers should be aware that this style sometimes includes expressions that may not be suitable at work, or with kids reading along. On the other hand, it provides learning opportunties for new vocabulary - AW, for example, had not come across the terms "giddypants" or "crapmonkeys" before.

Another appealling aspect is that the author does not set herself up as the one with all the expertise. She shares her views (sometimes vehemently; witness "giddypants" and "crapmonkeys") however for every personal opinion stated she seeks out those of others as well, and in so doing, gives equal measure to those crafting the tales and those consuming them. This is a refreshing reminder that the book community is composed not just of writers influencing readers through their work but equally of readers influencing writers through their reactions to and discussions about that work.

When Sarah Wendell sends out a query into the blogosphere or twitterverse, she really truly (to use the technical term) listens to the responses that boomerang back, and incorporates them into a more expanded understanding of whatever the issue may be. This collaborative attitude permeates the whole book, and is encapsulated in the dedication to "...the fabulous readers who have come to Smart Bitches over the years to talk romance novels, celebrate the excellence, and bemoan the bizarre."

This willingness to explore said bizarre is also a plus, of the book and the site. If the internet is to be believed (and why in the world shouldn't it?) (Just kidding. Kind of.) that vast army of romance novel afficionados that singlehandedly drives the lion's share of profits of the mass-market publishing industry can roughly be divided into two camps: those who believe it is "mean" to mention anything critical about a romance novel (meaning reviews are all rainbows and roses), and those who believe in mentioning aspects that could be improved (meaning reviews run the gamut between all out raves and full on evisceration. AW, the Gentle Reader may have guessed, leans toward the side that says all types of honest reviews are legitimate so long as this doesn't cross the line into personal slights or attacks on the author.

AW loved the mix of analysis and jokes/gentle teasing about certain common features, such as:

"...4..A romance heroine doesn't just stand by her man, she stands up to him!....5. A romance hero must always be willing to rush into a burning building to save a basket of kittens."

"...Reading romances and taking them literally is definitely not the path to everlasting happiness. There are some crazy over-the-top plots that would never fly in the real world...For any (real-life) men who may be reading this...if you like a girl, I suggest asking her out on a date, in preference to threatening to turn her ecologically sound tourism location into a strip mall."

AW's favorite parts were pseudo-scientific lists and tables. The list of best heros of all time, for example (who's #1? P&P's Mr. Darcy, of course) should provide endless room for debate on correctness of numeration and inclusion, the suggested newbie shopping list of ten iconic novels to start a romance collection that spans most subgenres and which AW imagines was Holy-Melting-Eyebrows-Batman difficult to keep so brief for a passionate lover (ha!) of the genre, the step by step guide to looking like a romance hero ("Step 1: Acquire a mullet. Step 5: Ensure that the wind is buffeting your manly chestular landscape in as flattering a manner as possible.").

Perhaps the most educational (albeit snortworthy) aspect for people who think that all romance is of the Harlequin Presents type (i.e. with a title along the lines of "The Latvian Tycoon Playboy Sheikh Billionaire's Virgin Pregnant Secretary Mistress Bride") is the graph "Which Romance Are You?" which illustrates how diverse the genre really is. It puts specific questions to each of 9 subgenres. In this way, one learns that the answer to the question "How Do You Like Your Steak?" is "Mooing" in Western and "Hairy in Paranormal, the answer to the question "What is Your Favorite Dessert?" is "whipped cream" for erotica and "anything on fire" for romantic suspense, and the answer for "What is Your Favorite Holiday?" is "Boss's Day" for Harlequin Presents and "Talk Like a Pirate Day" for Historical.

What Doesn't: Not so much a criticism as a desire for a specific point's greater emphasis of a or repetition (not, AW grants you, the usual type of request).

The author mentions early on how the life lessons explored are taken from more more recent decades, and may not be contained in quite the same way (or at all) in some older examples of the genre. This is so true, and significant, that AW almost feels like it should be tacked onto the bottom of each page of this book as a warning message. As in: "This is old-skool romance! May contain the opposite of messages like "We Know Who We are, and We Know Our Own Worth", "We Know How to Solve Problems", and especially "Happy Endings Take Work"! Content may be hazardous to feminist sentiments, the concept of men and women being equal partners, the expectation that men NOT solve every problem with might-makes-right, and the idea that women need to do more than just look pretty and blush on cue!"

Failing such distinction between what was then and what is now could lead readers newly willing to give the genre a try to feel like all their preconceived notions were well-founded. AW can certainly remember a couple of earlier-published works that ended up being thrown against a wall from the time that she had newly discovered the genre. Luckily for her, she simultaneously came across some other volumes with much more positive underlying messages (plus great writing) so continued exploring rather than giving up on the genre.

Things AW Wishes Had Been Included:
1. The author's husband's reaction. Not just because a person detailing all the great things they've learned about love just BEGS for a statement from that person's spouse. Not just because it would be nod to the Great Romance Debate on novels told only from the heroine's point of view vs. inclusion of the hero's point of view. But because this particular spouse once did a book review on his wife's site and as AW recalls he was just as funny as she.

2. A stepback cover. As AW may have mentioned (one or two dozen times), she loathes stepback covers because she has yet to see one that she didn't think was snarkworthy to the highest degree. It would have been a lot of fun to see a parody.

Overall: Strikes a good balance between thoughtful and entertaining. Readers already familiar with the author will not be disappointed, while those for whom this is new territory might well rethink a preconceived or perhaps outdated notion or two, and, who knows? Even pick up one of the myriad books mentioned, see if it clicks for them, and whether they can draw a worthwhile life lesson from it themselves.

Health Promotion: INCENTIVE MUCH?

2011-10-14T10:53:00.000-07:00

Usually, Apprentice Writer's Health Promotion posts take the form of something funny to create an immune-system boosting effect. Today, it will take the form of something humiliating to create an aerobic-encouraging effect.

See this gentleman? He is 100. And COMPETING IN THE TORONTO MARATHON.

That's right, the 'Turbanned Tornado', Mr. Fauja Singh, is not satisfied to sit on his sofa, reminiscing about days of yore and dispensing wise advice. Instead he has set a goal to achieve world records in a slew of running distances, and will most likely succeed as there are - surprise, surprise (not) - no existing world records for many of them for an individual of his age.

Apprentice Writer must confess that her admiration for Mr. Singh is, sadly, not entirely pure. It is tainted by disgruntlement. Because all the excuses she regularly applies as to why she is too busy to exercise pretty much expire of shame in the face of such just-do-it-ness.

AW is left with one question: why in the world doesn't Mr. Singh have a Nike endorsement deal????

Review: THE ROSE GARDEN

2011-10-07T10:53:00.000-07:00

THE ROSE GARDEN
Susanna Kearsley

Timetravel
Sourcebooks, October 2011

Premise: Grieving contemporary woman returns to childhood Cornwall home and begins travelling back in time to an era of smugglers and uprisings.

Cover: Title - very pretty, but held more significance for the contemporary portion of the story than the historical. Would have liked it if a title had been found that was equally significant to both time periods.
Art - Lovely, and much more eye-catching and also fitting than the art on the ARC Apprentice Writer received, which put her in mind of a story of a brave cancer survivor or some such. This one shows a titular rose, colors that recall the sepia tints of old daguerrotypes, and features hair (in a style which could be historical or contemporary) as the central element - so right for the story. Very well done.

What Works: The author has above average writing skill and an engaging style which draws the reader into the story, an effect which is further enhanced by use of first person and sympathy the reader feels for the protagonist from the first page as she talks of how bereft she is following the death of her beloved older sister.

The choice to have the protagonist keep going back and forth between time periods, as opposed to leaping close to the start and spending the bulk of the story in the past/future, with a final leap back to own time at the end, created a great contrast between typical daily life challenges of average people now (setting up a new business, keeping on old one viable, negotiating dating life) and typical life challenges then (having to be watchful of local law enforcement due to no recourse to higher authority, political choices that can mean swift and bloody death no matter which side one comes down on, gender inequality that placed any female without male protectors with enough muscle and in close enough proximity at risk, the sheer labor and difficulty associated with tasks of daily life).

Finally, a great strength of this book is the historical love interest. How Apprentice Writer adored him, his relationship to his brother and best friend, the way he chooses to deal with economic and political reality of the time, but most of all, how he responds to a woman with modern sensibilities. He was swoonworthy, and AW would have been happy to read more about his backstory and what happens next to him. He gives Jamie Fraser (of the mega timetravel hit "Outlander) - who is #2 on the list of best romantic heros of all times, as compiled by fellow Sourcebooks author Sarah Wendell ("Everything I Know About Love I Learned from Romanc Novels" review to come shortly), a run for his money. If anything, Daniel Butler comes out ahead, considering Jamie's unfortunate disciplinary episode (cue groaning of the "Outlander" faithful).

What Doesn't: In AW's view, if you going to write a timetravel, then do the reader the courtesy of not treating the actual timetravel element like a trivial afterthought. In this case, the explanations of where and to whom it happened were tepid and unconvincing (because the conditions for both should have affected many, many more people than it did) while the explanation of why it happened at some times and not others was never given. The fact that the protagonist seemed to show such little curiosity about the mechanics of the thing gave this reader an ever dimmer opninion about her intelligence. It also made her WILD that in contrast to, say, Henry of "The Time Traveller's Wife" who cannot take anything with him from the old place (including clothes) when he shifts, the protagonist here could, but never thought to do so. You can bet your sweet petticoat that AW would have taken care to have a supply of toothpaste/brush, dental floss, aspirin, swiss army knife, and feminine hygiene products with her at times.

Apart from the personal grooming aspect, AW was very surprised at how the protagonist never thought of the possibility of some small gift for the two historical men who literally risk their lives for her, given that having other people of their time seeing her appear or disappear would brand them as associates of a witch. There is a whole subtheme of capacity to create fire (in the form of skill to strike a spark), thus symbolizing access to light, life-giving warmth, capacity to eat, and feeling of security - all of which the hero and his best friend continually bestow on the heroine. The hero even shows special interest in the future invention of matches. But does the heroine think to slip a lousy book of matches for him in her jeans pocket, or some small modern kitchen gadget in recognition of her adopted brother's culinary interest? Not at all. This willingness of the heroine to accept all the tangible and intangible gifts offered to her by these men without any notion of return created an uncomfortable sense of imbalance, all the more peculiar considering the extravagant gift she bestows on some secondary characters in the contemporary time.

Overall: The single word previous reviewers seem to apply most often to this novel is "haunting"; AW would agree with that, as well as the "well-written" description. The story is more about the psychology and emotion of the person going back and forth in time rather than the action-adventure (such as found in "Outlander") or the modern time luxuries/olden time privations angle (such as found in "Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict"). From this perspective, the feelings and actions of the cast of characters was (with exception mentioned above) convincing and satisfying.

Steve Jobs 1955-2011

2011-10-06T06:53:00.000-07:00

"No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. (Yet) death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life's change agent."

(From his commencement address to a college graduating class in 2005, in which he remarked on having himself dropped out of college)

How many aspiring writers like this one have been influenced, to larger or smaller degree, by this man's creativity?

Countless.

RIP Mr. Jobs.

Health Promotion: TOURIST COMPLAINTS

2011-09-26T08:15:00.000-07:00

The Association of British Travel Agents published a list of most ridiculous complaints received from clients upon their return home from abroad. A few of Apprentice Writer's favorites:

"No one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

"On my holiday in Goa, India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry."

"We booked an excursion to the water park, but no one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes."

"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It only took the Americans three hours to get home."

"I was bitten by a mosquito. No one said they could bite."

"We bought Ray-Ban sunglasses for five Euros from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."

"I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was signficantly smaller."

"The beach was too sandy."

And finally, AW's favorite British tourist complaint: "Too many foreigners now live abroad."

AW applauds the British Travel Agent Association for providing such an educational report, and eagerly awaits the reports of any other national travel agent association.

Car Culture & the Law

2011-09-19T08:53:00.000-07:00

True Story #1:

A mother and small child cross the street on foot to catch a bus and are hit by a car driven by a man who had been drinking, was on painkillers, mostly blind in one eye, and had a previous conviction for a hit-and-run accident. Result?

The mother was convicted of vehicular manslaughter of her toddler and faced the possibility of three years in prison. The car driver meanwhile served six months.

Apprentice Writer imagines that in most places, reaction would be atomic level "WHAT?????"

In Marietta, Georgia, USA, where this story took place, however, this astonishing end result apparently makes sense (at least, to the members of that jury). Looking a little deeper into the situation creates greater unease: the mother and son were black, as are most of the public transportation users in the town described as mostly white and affluent. She was convicted by an all-white jury who held her accountable for not crossing at a designated crosswalk thus "causing" the death. The saving grace was that the judge ultimately transformed her sentence to community service and payment of a fine rather than actual jail time.

AW's thoughts: There is a scene in the old Eddie Murphy movie "Beverley Hills Cop" when the hero is thrown through a plate glass window of a skyscraper lobby by security guards and subsequently arrested by police. When he incredulously asks why, they state that he is accused of trespassing. He is so astonished at the backwardness of this, feeling that he is the clear victim rather than the perpetrator, that he goes on to ask whether a person struck by a car in that town would be arrested for jaywalking.

In the movie, the scene was played for laughs because of the blatant absurdity of the situation. It is chilling to see a true life scenario turn out this way. Has car culture really reached such a level that pedestrians are not only viewed as "the enemy" to drivers, but considered to bear the lion's share of responsibility to ensure that they don't get in the way of "rightful" users of the road (no matter how physically or chemically impaired)? Is this some new variation of social Darwinism, where it is considered someone's own fault if they don't have the means to own a car and that's that?

AW hopes not. She also hopes that this case could become a catalyst for people not just in Marietta to take a look at the economic and ecological cost of getting around in daily life and take action that promotes transportation in a more co-operative rather than confrontational way. Because discouraging rather than encouraging use of public transportation and forms of healthy transport like walking or biking? Is so five steps backward. Especially at time when greenhouse gases and lack of exercise are at crisis levels.

True Story #2: A woman gets in a car, drives to school to drop off her child, swings by the grocery store, and is arrested.

It must have been a stolen car, right? Or she was driving erratically and endangering others? Or didn't have the right papers with her?

Incorrect. It was her family's vehicle, she had a licence, and followed traffic rules. So what did she do wrong? Be born female.

Once again, cue the atomic level "WHAT????" from most places.

In Saudi Arabia, however, where this story took place, this astonishing end result apparently makes sense (at least, to the lawmakers). Manal al-Sharif, a Rosa Parks of sorts, chose to make herself a lightning rod for the rights of women to drive themselves, and posted video of herself defying the ban of female driving to Youtube. This has launched a mini Saudi Arab spring of other women in that country doing likewise, with outrage and threats poured upon them as a result for supposedly threatening Saudi culture, traditions, and morals.

AW's thoughts: Are Saudi men truly such fragile flowers that their self-worth is threatened by a woman going to the grocery store herself? Seriously. How is something so banal emasculating or interpretable as an attack on the superstructure of an entire culture?

It isn't, of course, as is proven by the multitude of countries where women have been driving for generations without the existing culture falling down around everyone's ears. AW hopes that as evidence of the non-catastrophic results of women driving builds, laws will come to reflect that.
Bravo to the women of Saudi who decided that enough was enough, and put themselves forward to create progress for themselves and the next generation.

Health Promotion

2011-09-05T17:47:00.000-07:00

Laughter boosts the immune system. Today an image of what parents hope, year after futile year, their children will look like at the thought of school starting the next day.

courtesy of www.cakewrecks.com

Review: TOUT SWEET

2011-08-26T08:55:00.000-07:00

TOUT SWEET - Hanging Up My High Heels for a New Life in France
Karen Wheeler
Memoir
Sourcebooks, August 2011

Premise: Romantically disappointed journalist moves to rural France.

Cover: Title - Clever wordplay ("tout de suite" = French for "right away"), and the subtitle is a concise summary of content. Art - Very pretty, eyecatching, and reflective of author's description of everyday life in the village. Altogether, well done.

What Works: The cover blurbs repeated the words "honest" and "charming"; Apprentice Writer is pleased to say that she found both to be accurate. The honesty comes in the lack of airbrushing. The author has the courage to include aspects that do not always show her in the most flattering light, which provides the armchair traveller with the opportunity to recall occasions when they might not have shown the best judgement themselves at the same time as they think "I wouldn't have done that!". The charming comes from the manner in which the heroine prevails, the way she does her utmost to learn, and the way she provides the vicarious experience of sitting in a cobbled, whitewashed courtyard looking at potted flowers while enjoying breakfast baguette, and so on.

The writing has some ups and downs. AW has included it in the "What Works" rather than "What Doesn't" section because even though there is a regrettable pattern of word echoes and repetition in some places, there is also just enough French for this high school level speaker to find it flavorful without becoming confusing (something which she has had more than one occasion to bemoan with other British writers and their casual inclusion of Latin all over the place). And as regular readers of this space know, AW is particularly fond of well-done metaphors and similes; in this case, she enjoyed the author's fashion training being aptly applied to description.

It becomes clear to the reader early on that the idealized mental image the author has of Life in Rural France and reality may not match. It is to the author's credit that by the end of the first year which forms the material for the book, her resourcefulness and adaptability have combined to create a lifestyle that she enjoys and plans to maintain - as opposed to the many expats who, for whatever reason, give up and go home. This reader loved it that she did not allow her single status, lack of contacts, and complete absence of handiwork skills to stand the way of her dream of owning and renovating a home in a foreign country. Bravo, Ms. Wheeler, for doing so and for making the reader want to book the next flight to France for the rewards of the countryside rather than the glitz of Paris.

What Doesn't: For this reader's taste, too much space was taken up with the minutiae of fellow ex-pats' dysfunction, whether romantic or alcoholic. Yes, sometimes moving to a new place can exacerbate rather than heal marital friction, and yes, sometimes individuals used to a greater amount and variety of alternate entertainment may turn to booze as a way to fill the time when such entertainment is curtailed. But must we dwell on it? AW thinks not.

Overall: A feel-good story that proves there is (satisfying) life after love, that sometimes running away to reinvent oneself can actually work, and that homeownership is not just for the handy and mechanically-inclined.

Privacy Alert

2011-08-20T14:49:00.000-07:00

Apprentice Writer was startled to learn of this new threat to her bathtub reading habits:

ALERT!!

New privacy issue with Facebook!

As of tomorrow, Facebook will creep into your bathroom when you're in the shower, smack your ass, and then steal your clothes and towel.

To change this option, go to Privacy Settings > Personal Settings > Bathroom Settings > Smacking and Stealing Settings, and uncheck the Shenanigans box.
Copy and paste this on your status to alert the unaware.

The Gentle Reader has been warned!

Health Promotion

2011-08-08T20:16:00.000-07:00

Laughter boosts the immune system. Today's good deed in the name of public health inspired by the great big Swedish furniture retailer, where Apprentice Writer recently spent time due to junior apprentice writer #3 outgrowing her toddler bed.

For those who worry about such things: fear not. AW did not practice assembling a bed by first assembling a cat.

Minimalist Movie Reviews

2011-07-24T19:42:00.000-07:00

There are bloggers who deliver erudite, thorough, well-balanced thoughts on cinema. And then, there is Apprentice Writer. She delivers one word or plus on movies as subjective fancy strikes her. Choose you loquaciousness.

Robin Hood
1. *Sigh*
+. There was a lot to like about this adaptation: Cate Blanchett, cinematography, Cate Blanchett, the care that went into architectural, costuming, and landscape features, Cate Blanchett. But the positive aspects were overshadowed by the shamelessness of Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe trying so heavy-handedly to recreate 'Gladiator' glory. Not once, but twice, they tossed in the signature move of a weapon being thrown up at Crowe on horseback at full gallop who, of course, catches it one-handed and despatches some villains with suitable flourish. Living in the past, much?

Tangled
1. Girlpower!
+. How far Disney princesses have come. From role models of yore that were all of the same apparent ethnic background, forever waiting for some prince to come change their lives, letting themselves be exploited in the meantime, and sometimes, just sleeping all the time (how's that for the ultimate passive character?) . Heroines offered up for little girls today look different, think for themselves, snatch up whatever items are handily available for self defence, negotiate, work hard, and see beyond shallow looks (Mulan - crossdressing, Princess & the Frog - amphibious transformation, Rapunzel - negation of hair as female power). Superb animation, lots of humor, hero to be redeemed; what's not to like about this movie? Appealing for any age.

How Do You Know
1. Quirky.
+. AW had no expectations of this movie, and ended up being pleasantly surprised. She has no special love for Owen Wilson but he was exactly right for the role of egocentric superjock who sincerely makes an effort at genuine commitment, with some stumbling on the way. Reese Witherspoon was convincing as the woman finding her way in a new life who doesn't seem to follow "typical" female thinking processes about love, as she puts it. Paul Rudd played the guy he always plays, but it worked. A quiet, odd, gently pleasing little movie.

Inception
1. Whaaaa????
+. Was this movie thought provoking and creative? Sure. But: perhaps AW is intellectually no longer up to par. Perhaps she was too tired or distracted to put together all the clues provided to form the full answers to the questions the movie posed. Whatever the impasse, by the time the final scenes rolled around, she was hopelessly confused about the many clones of each character that needed to be accounted for and was clueless about what really happened to the wife, the as always mesmerizing Marion Cotillard. AW thinks this is a great example of a movie that is trying too hard.

Arn: The Knight Templar
1. Nope.
+. Good points? Erm...it is kind of nice to see a movie about the Crusades that does not have England or France as the protagonists' home base, and AW supposes it is instructive to be reminded that even though Scandinavia is known as the global elite in terms of egalitarian society these days, historically it may have been just as misogynistic as other parts of Europe in the name of the Church.

Not so good points? When making a movie that spans two decades, it is probably a good idea to have makeup and hair artists on staff who are skillful enough to prevent the hero and heroine looking exactly the same throughout. It is probably also a good idea, when including battle scenes, to, you know. try and make them convincing. AW kept watching on the principle that Swedish movies don't come her way every day, but it all fell apart during a climactic confrontation between rival Swedish factions when one side begins its advance, the other faction's archers raise bows, the commander of the first side suddenly shouts "It's a trap!" and - the second side looses its arrows.

ARE YOU KIDDING????? THAT'S IT????? AW was expecting something along the lines of the sharpened logs that impaled the cavalry from 'Braveheart', or the ground falling away like in "Prince Caspian". But a medieval army that is surprised by a generic arrow volley? Come on.

What do you say, Gentle Reader? Agree? Disagree?

Health Promotion

2011-07-19T16:23:00.000-07:00

When being honest about your (licensce plate) feelings may not be such a good idea.....

Three of these mustaches are natural - but which?

Llamas disapprove of public displays of affection.

Yet, for some reason, the fashion of America brides cuddling up with grizzlies and Canadian brides cuddling up with polar bears just hasn't caught on....

Non-Laughter Review: PILLOW TALK

2011-07-14T12:34:00.000-07:00

PILLOWTALK
Freya North
Sourcebooks, July 2011 (reissue)
Women's Fiction

Premise: After a brief period of non-acted upon attraction when they were teens, a London jeweller and rural teacher meet again.

Cover: Title - Relevant on two levels: it signals 'relationships' as theme, and points to the sleepwalking and insomnia that bedevil hero and heroine. Art - colors and cartoonish font and illustration look like classic chicklit, and the story contains several elements that point in that direction (if we all did not know that Chicklit Is Dead. Or so we keep being told). Altogether, the cover gives a good indication of what the reader will find inside.

What Works: It is very easy to like the protagonists. Artist Petra is passionate about her work, good to her friends, and doggedly determined to keep up her relationships with her divorced parents and stepsiblings despite zero energy on their part to make an effort in that direction. Arlo is a former rock singer/songwriter who now teaches music at an uppercrust private school, and seems genuinely fond of his pupils and sincere in carrying out his duties.

Their story is not about tumultuous passion or wild adventure, but rather, the quiet moments and steps that build up on each other to help everyday people decide whether a relationship is worth sticking with or no longer functional. This is pretty much the opposite of what happens in genres like urban fantasy, space opera, or stories that involve, let's say, espionage, so it is a refreshing and thoughtful change from those types of novels.

Apprentice Writer also found it interesting how sleep was used to underscore what is going on. How, where, with whom, how effectively we do it - all become symbolic of trust and affection. AW liked how it was developed beyond the simple euphemism for sex that is often deployed in contemporary fiction.

What Doesn't: The story hinges heavily on the protagonists not knowing how to get in touch with one another. As young(ish), hip(ish), (partial) Londoners, this trampled AW's suspension of belief. Just because the protagonists liked riding bikes does not convince her that they were so retro that don't know how to operate Facebook, Google, or even something so low-tech as a phone directory.

There was also a moment when the Petra thought she was reliving a very negative experience with her former boyfriend all over again with Arlo, and takes certain immediate action without allowing Arlo even a minimum of opportunity to share his point of view. AW supposes that the reader was intended to take this as a sign of the degree of hurt she had experienced. The way it came off, though, was as childish. It felt like one step away from being too immature to be deserving of the genuine adult relationship she had set her sights on.

Overall: A pleasant beach read, especially for those who miss stories in a chicklit direction.

Notable Quotes

2011-07-03T20:39:00.000-07:00

How to describe a goddess? It would need to be in a way that sets her apart from mortals, of course. Regarding Hera:

"Her hair was the color of blackmail, her spine like a guillotine..."

from "Gods Behaving Badly" by Marie Phillips

Non-Laughter Reviews: WHISPERS IN THE SAND

2011-06-20T08:39:00.001-07:00

WHISPERS IN THE SAND
Barbara Erskine
Paranormal Mystery
Sourcebooks, 2011 (reissue)

Premise: Contemporary divorcee travels to Egypt and finds her life increasingly entwined with that of a Victorian ancestress and a mysterious ancient artefact.

Cover: Title - Creates sense of drama and is relevant to content. Art - Pretty, eyecatching colors and style of hairdo and dress captures the sense of modern with historical. Overall - well done.

What Works: The author clearly has a tremendous love for Egypt and respect for the profoundly deep sweep of its history. This attachment soaks into the story and makes the reader yearn to get on a plane to see the sights and experience that antiquity personally. At the very least, for those lacking time and travel budget (Apprentice Writer, for instance), the novel motivates to search out more historically-based fiction about the kings and queens mentioned.

AW became caught up in the life of the ancestress. A gifted painter and grieving widow, she tries to regain her physical health and emotional equilibrium by sailing along the Nile. Like her granddaughter, she is challenged to understand the secrets of the antique glass bottle in her posession, but she has the added obstacles of racism, sexism, and stifling Victorian morality rules to deal with. Her choices, and how they affect the contemporary protagonist, held AW's interest.

AW is not a huge ghost-story afficionada, but nevertheless became engrossed in the eternal-seeming power struggle between the rival priest spirits who form the mystery element of the story. What do they want from the bearer of the artefact? Are they benevolent or malevolent? Can they be released from their prison? Will they actually speak? AW could never quite figure out which was the good guy and bad guy between them - perhaps intentionally on the part of the author, to represent how no-one is ever completely innocent or guilty? - and read on more to find out what happened to them than to know what happened to the nominal heroine of the story.

What Doesn't: Warning! Mild Spoilers!
AW struggled with the protagonist. Presented as a depressed, trying-too-hard-to-please, somewhat passive character at first, it seemed logical to expect that over the course of the story arc she would grow into an empowered, active, confident character who realizes she is capable of standing on her own two feet. Didn't happen. True, she does try to tell some other characters that she does not appreciate their behavior, and does take some steps towards determining her own romantic future. Altogether, though, by the end she still spent much time being "taken care of" by a male character and AW repeatedly wanted to shake her for not grasping such basic concepts as: just because someone asks you a question doesn't mean you are compelled to provide an answer if you don't want to. And: if someone enters your living area uninvited and takes some of your property, despite your clear demand that they not do so, there are actions that you can take about it.

AW tried to figure out whether the frusrtation she felt for this character would be unique to her personal reader style, or whether it could be more broadly based. Was there truly a lack of character development on the protagonist's part? Or was it more a case of AW being used to the take-charge (sometimes with skillful violence) attitude of female protagonists found in urban fantasy novels, meaning it was unfair to expect similar backbone in characters from other types of fiction?

It was not possible for her to tease out a clear answer, partly because the waters were muddied by another factor: surprise at the multi-level open endings. Questions about the ancestress, the spirits, the hero and heroine all remained. AW tried to take this in a philosophical way, but in all honesty would have been happier to know some things more definitively rather than imagining for herself what could have happened.

She was also left with a headscratcher: at one point in the novel the protagonist learns that by virtue of their gender women have protection from ill effects of the artefact. Yet in other parts of the story, a woman dies prematurely and some families (presumably containing female members) also perish due to proximity. Any explanations the Gentle Reader can share?

Overall: The two biggest predictors for liking this novel are enjoyment of a paranormal element, and tolerance for open endings. Readers who like their fiction realistic and loose endsl tied up may be left unsatisfied. But readers who welcome a sprinkling of ghosts and who can appreciate tantalizingly unanswered questions as a symbol of the endlessness of time (without question, relevant to a place so old as Egypt) or the eternal nature of humans trying to find their true love, may well be entranced by this story.

Health Promotion

2011-05-11T19:54:00.000-07:00

Apprentice Writer will shortly be winging her way to Europe for a few weeks. As she has no idea what wifi situation will be, she leaves you with a dose of that non-flying avian, judgemental bookseller ostrich.

Bookish Outposts in Cyberspace, Part II

2011-04-26T19:25:00.000-07:00

Apprentice Writer's Magical Mystery Tour of cool bookish places to hang out in cyberspace, continued:

Number One Novels - this site is devoted exclusively to interviews of authors who have just published their debut novels. AW has a special love for debut novels, so the Gentle Reader can imagine her delight when she stumbled upon this outpost. The Gentle Reader can go on to imagine her even greater delight that each author interview involves a giveaway of the featured debut. Finally, the Gentle Reader can no doubt imagine AW's Canuck dissappointment to learn that the majority of these giveaways are for American readers only. This, however, does not stop her from visiting as she is addicted to "How I Sold My First Book" stories and loves reading about authorly background stuff.

A Piece of My Mind - this lovely, high-content site is the cyberhome of AW's online amiga Julia, devoted to art of all kinds. Julia's creative interests seem to know no bounds, and a visit may result in education or opinions on paintings, novel-writing, poetry, music,dance, cinema, etc. etc. Though AW's family is most excellent in its own way, Julia's family has long caused AW to plot (so far, unsuccessfully) as to how she might get herself adopted into a Maritime family because, Holy inspirational Atlantic sea spray, Batman, ALL of Julia's relatives possess creativity of some type or another. (Not kidding. Every. Single. One). Though AW may not share Julia's views on, say, all musicians featured, or fully comprehend the symbolism of every line of poetry posted, she does look forward to having her spirits lifted each time she ventures to this site.

Popcorn & Chainmail - this excellently funny site devotes itself to affectionate snark of historical movies, conducted by cinemaphiles who have the background necessary to spot historical inaccuracy at a hundred paces. The Gentle Reader may question why AW includes this site on a list of so-called bookish outposts, to which AW would say, "Hey, I said BookISH, didn't I? And lots of those movies were based on books. Sort of. I think." She would also go on to add, "They haven't posted in a while, so rush over before the site goes dark!"
AW remembered it recently while watching "Kingdom of Heaven" (which she really liked, by the way, flaws and all) and recollected how she'd giggled at what the sporkers (they call what they do sporking a movie) had to say.

More site tours to come.

Bookish Outposts in Cyberspace: Part I

2011-04-16T13:29:00.000-07:00

Where, the Gentle Reader may wonder, does Apprentice Writer go in the Blogiverse when she isn't here at home?

To various bookish landing spots, some well-known and some deserving a wider audience. In no specific order:

Dear Author - this reader-oriented site (as opposed to author- or publisher-oriented) was begun by Jane Litte, a reader whose training is in law. As a result some of the most interesting discussions at the site involve legal interpretation on developments in the publishing industry or legitimacy of various threats made in the kerfuffle du jour. The site is devoted mostly to genre fiction (heavily of the romance persuasion including any and all subgenres), but from that single blogger beginning it has grown to multiple reviewers of widely differing tastes. Authors comment frequently in the threads, there are many guest posts, and publishers regularly hold impressive giveaways. Jane and Sarah of 'Smart Bitches, Trashy Books' also collaborate on all sorts of bookish ventures - the annual DABWAHA tournament (AW will let you google that on your own), commentary in various conferences and workshop panels, and who knows what else. You never know what you find when you visit Dear Author, but it is interesting enough frequently enough that AW keeps checking in.

S. Krishna's Books - this single reader site records the thoughts of Swapna, reader extraordinaire. Every time AW, who considers herself a fairly heavy reader, visits she is staggered by Swapna's readerly output (or perhaps consumption is the better word), mostly in literary fiction with some memoir, women's fiction, and mystery sprinkled in. This could perhaps be rationalized by supposing that Swapna does nothing else but read, however she is also a student and has a spouse, who presumably needs some attention now and again. As if that weren't enough, she looks stunning. AW has tried to hold all of this against her but fails miserably due to curiosity about thoughts on the titles AW is thinking about checking out, and Swapna's special interest in multicultural authors.

A Life With Books - this single reader site talks about daily life and bookish topics in roughly equal measure. Since both kinds of posts, and the ones that mix it all up, are entertaining and laidback, AW enjoys her visits. Jenners has a laid-back yet thoughtful style, an easy-to-read five point book review system, and has a talent of picking up on fun memes from the blogosphere.

More sites to come.

Free Ebook

2011-04-07T18:56:00.000-07:00

Readers of this space may recall that Apprentice Writer reviewed historical fiction author Ciji Ware's novel "Island of the Swans".

Ms. Ware has just released a new novel, A Race to Splendour, with another lovely cover. The premise sounds intriguing, being set in San Francisco with a female architect trying to rebuild a landmark building destroyed by earthquake. From April 5-11 the ebook is priced for 4.99 U.S. at a slew of ebook retailers.

To celebrate the new novel, Sourcebooks is offering a previous novel, Cottage by the Sea, for free through the same eretailers, April 5-11.

Health Promotion

2011-03-31T19:28:00.000-07:00

Who says real estate can't have feelings?

Non-Laughter Review: MODERN FANTASY

2011-03-24T13:33:00.000-07:00

Readers of this space know that Apprentice Writer struggled previously with Urban Fantasy burnout. It was taking more and more innovation and stellar writing on the part of the authors to elicit reaction from her, and it gradually dawned on her that it was, perhaps, a little unfair to keep holding novels up to ever-escalating expectations when really, what she needed was a break.

Return to epic fantasy, in the form of the second-to-last volume of the 'Wheel of Time' megaseries, didn't do the trick either.

Paranormal, often considered to appeal to a similar type of demographic as UF, has never really worked for AW. The shapeshifting, blood-sucking, demonic storyliness somehow never quite hold her attention.

AW really liked Ilona Andrews pioneering 'rural fantasy' novels, but those are far and few between and so far other authors don't seem to be leaping into the new subgenre.

What is a voracious reader with taste for well-written fantastical worlds to do? By this point, AW was growing a little desperate.

Then: Rescue! Three books, each very different from the others, very different from classic urban/epic/paranormal, that she all adored. AW thinks of these novels (and hopefully, the many more that will ride in on what she dearly wishes will be a wave) as Modern Fantasy.

1. The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, N.K. Jemisin (Inheritance Trilogy, Book 1)
2. The Broken Kingdoms, N.K. Jemisin (Inheritance Trilogy, Book 2)
3. Indigo Springs, A.M. Dellamonica (Book 1 in series of unknown length)

Premise:
1. Orphaned offspring of renegade branch of the royal family is summoned to palace hanging in the sky and tossed into a battle of succession in a world balanced on a knife edge between enslaved gods and humans branded into strict social classes.

2. Blind artist rescues an injured, homeless man and is unwittingly caught up between jostling factions of godlings and an uprising of humans against gods in the Tree of Life on the planet beneath the Skypalace of Book 1.

3. Recently bereaved young woman inherits a house and slowly learns of the magical powers conveyed by the springs below, with catastrophic results.

Cover:
1. Title - Intriguing and apt for content. Art - Beautiful, indicative on content, AW was amused by inclusion of streaming hair of her favorite character in the story. Amused because the way it's streaming here is technically impossible unless underwater, yet in in this character's case is correctly depicted - and how this reminds her of the many romance covers that have been snarked because of hair blowing wildly in one way from the heroine's scalp while blowing in the other from hero's scalp, etc.

2. Title - relates well to title of Book 1, apt for content. Art - the tree of life is accurate for content, but the searchlight eyes creeped AW out. Not a cover she would habe been attracted to on its own.

3. Title - Simple (which is always good) and perfectly accurate for content. Art - gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. AW doesn't know why the 'corrugated' effect was added but for some strange reason it works.

What Works:
For all three books the strengths are the same: Beautiful writing. Superb, creative world-building. Intriguing, sympathetic protagist. Memorable secondary characters. And the best bit: unpredictability.

Which all leads up to AW salivating as she waits for the next books in each series.

What Doesn't:
This is a subjective matter, because the two aspects that might not work for some readers (judging by selective Goodreads comments) both actually worked really well for AW.

One was first person voice. AW thought it worked well it was well-suited to the subject matter and let the reader react like the protagonist when shocking things happened.

Another was the at times non-linear writing style. In the case of Jemisin, this took the form of occasional short paragraphs, usually at the start of a new chapter, wherein the protagonist appears to be talking to herself from a point in time after the story. AW will admit that it takes a bit of mental sorting out to adjust to this occasional gear changes, but she did not find them excessive or incomprehensible

In the case of Dellamonica it took the form of the story starting out in the 'head' of a secondary character, who interviews the protagonist after the bulk of the story events have taken place. This is tricky to assimilate on three levels: it is not the protagonist, it is a later point in time, and the protagonist is shown in an odd light. But once these first pages are dealt with, the rest of the story flows free and clear (Heh. AW loves a good pun).

Why did the author put them in, then, the Gentle Reader may ask? AW has to date not perfected the art of reading authorly minds. She will however speculate that the author may, at some point in time, have begun her story in the more conventional manner - that is, at the beginning, in the protagonist's 'regular' life, before anything especially unusual happened - and received feedback that this was not enough of a hook to keep readers interested in this short-attenion span age. Presto - the story starts with such blazingly spectacular events that even the most jaded reader would not be able to describe the setting as 'boring'.

Overall:
AW highly encourages her Gentle Readers to seek out these stories if they have not done so already, and then by all means let her reactions! Also, whether the Gentle Reader has any recommendations to round out her 'Modern Fantasy' list.

Next in Series:

For N.K. Jemisin: Book 3 in the 'Inheritance' Trilogy - 'Kingdom of the Gods'

For A.M. Dellamonica: Book 2 - "Blue Magic"

/m

Aching Heart

2011-03-16T19:59:00.000-07:00

Japan - please, please push through. Your calm, grace, and dignity in the face of unthinkable odds are an example to us all.

Libya - please, please hang on. Your devotion to the ideals of democracy, equality, and achieving your aims in the face of rabid tyranny is a shining light to us all.

We are with you in thought, spirit, media, and hopefully donations.

Non-Conformist

2011-03-10T19:07:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, Apprentice Writer just needs to remember that it's OK to be a little different.

Here's to all the non-conformist birds out there.

Quote of the Day: Stephanie Dolgoff

2011-03-04T08:34:00.001-08:00

And because of the instant recognition Apprentice Writer felt when she read it, another quote from Stephanie Dolgoff's ruminations on the progress of time taken from the chapter 'The Comfort vs. Style Smackdown' :

"...finding clothes that stylishly bridge the gap between too young and middle-aged frump is not simple. When I look at what other Formerlies on the street are wearing, I mostly see three categories:

1) Those trying too hard to look younger than they are. I'm thinking if your C-section scar is visible over your jeans, they are too low...

2) Those who seem to think they are being punished and so are only permitted to shop at Dress Barn..

3) Those who don't appear to be trying at all. I respect these opt-outers, but I hope they're choosing to live off the fashion grid in defiance of child exploitation or because they prefer to cultivate their inner selves than because they have nothing but sweats in their closet. My friend Kelly is an opt-outer most days of the week. She drives a mini-van, wears Uggs and even worn pjs under her coat to drop off her kids at school, 'a veritable trifecta of mom-letting-go offences,' as she puts it. She has decided to believe that she is one of those people, like incognito movie stars and models who look good wearing a mesh laundry bag, who is so fabulous she can pull it off. It works for the three weeks of the month she's not about to have her period. 'Then for one unholy week you are just a fat, middle-aged, angry woman sitting in a mini-van,' she says. "

As the Gentle Reader may have guessed, AW drives a mini-van. *sigh*

Quote of the Day: Stephanie Dolgoff

2011-03-02T19:09:00.000-08:00

Apprentice Writer has reached the age when the way she feels in her head is mysteriously at odds with the number of the candles that should be on the cake. 'Should be', because she has long since disallowed something so distasteful as mathematically correct flames on her cake.

As such, the non-fiction collection of short stories in "My Formerly Hot Life: Dispatches from Just the Other Side of Young" called out to her. They also made her laugh in rueful recognition, such as the author's description of that exquisite torture known as 'shopping for new jeans'.

"...I needed jeans, badly.

The ones that fit were clearly out of style.

The ones that didn't (yeah, no, they hadn't gotten too loose) had a nasty habit of dialing my Blackberry whenever I carried it in my back pocket. I'd get home after a long day at work and find three messages on my machine from my own ass...."

She goes on to describe the disparity between the labels of 'young' brand jeans, and the reality of her own current life, and lists the kinds of brand names that she would buy:

"Solvent and Still Viable
Good Credit Score Jeans
Call Me 'Ma'am' at Your Own Risk Jeans
Nothing to Prove Jeans
So Over It Jeans
You Just Wait Jeans
Talk to Me When You're 30 Jeans
Love That Lycra Jeans
Been There, Done That (Twice) Jeans"

Ha!

The author has a 'Formerly' blog here.

YA: How Young is Too Young?

2011-02-20T13:07:00.000-08:00

In contrast to the dismal news coming out of the publishing industry as a whole these days, young adult fiction seems to buck the trend in a big way. Formerly a type of literature actually intended for the young, it is now being read by vast numbers of people long past their teens. Perhaps because of this dual audience, top-tier YA authors command advances and contracts other authors can only dream of.

Why does Apprentice Writer know this? She attended a seminar conducted by ultra author Kelley Armstrong, whose current paranormal YA series launched her up among that genre stratosphere - a place that should feel comfortable given she landed there before with her adult-oriented paranormal series.

Does this expanding popularity simply mean that stories intended for a youthful audience have wide-ranging appeal?

Could it be that the content of the stories is changing to accommodate more mature readers?

Or is it possible that Apprentice Writer is operating under a wrong assumption of the definition of YA fiction?

AW wants to know because she has started reading novels in which junior apprentice writer #1 is interested so as to have topics of discussion with him. At least, that was the reason to start with. It quickly was joined by another reason, which threatens to overshadow the first. It is called parental policing.

Because sometimes, the content of YA books can be eye-bulging. When she commented on this at the seminar, she learned that

"....A YA book is simply one which features a young protagonist."

Meaning: in terms of content, anything the market will bear goes. Therefore, caveat emptor.

Here's the problem: it is natural for young readers to choose books that feature protagonists who are similar, or slightly older, than themselves in age. But the content of books with a YA label at the library or on YA shelves at the store vary enormously. If it is hard for AW as a adult to figure out if a book may be too mature for a pre-teen or young teen, wouldn't it be hard for the kids to figure out also? Do they really have to get to a part of the book that is too much for them to decide it may not be the best choice (by which time, they may be so invested in the story that they plow on)?

Some examples: MODERATE - MAJOR SPOILERS! BEWARE!

Julie of the Wolves, Jean Craighead George (protagonist: age 13)
This is rightly considered a classic and AW read and enjoyed most of it while at school at a double-digit age. The parts that she didn't enjoy as much - and, more importantly, did not have an adult with whom to talk it through for reasons that are not pertinent to this post - were her first ever exposure to the issues of attempted sexual assault, fetal alcohol syndrome, and domestic violence, which form the catalyst for the protagonist to run away into the wilderness. The bulk of the story has to do with what happens there and how she decides whether to stay 'away' or return to life with people, provides much food for thought, and is in AW's view well worth reading (with her single big criticism being that recovery from sexual attack is depicted way too facile and simplistic a manner). That worthwhile reading, however, should be done by readers old enough to be able to process the stark elements.

She was therefore highly surprised to encounter it on a recommended reading list for junior apprentice #1 in Grade 3 (= age 7-8) . When AW inquired how this title had landed on the recommend list for such young readers without any warning to parents who might not be familiar with the content about the very serious themes, she was informed that it was based purely on evaluation of the difficulty of the vocabulary.

White Cat, Holly Black (protagonist: age 16?)
This is a recent, megapopular YA title that came highly recommended to AW from different sources. It fell into that group of books that results in split personality for her. As an aspiring writer she was impressed with the deceptive ease with which the author unfolded the story about the youngest member of a con-artist family in first-person, present tense mode, something which requires enormous skill and resulted in multiple points where the reader thinks, "Wow, I didn't see that coming.".

At the same time, she questioned whether she would directly encourage junior apprentice writer #1, aged 13, to immerse himself in a world where the protagonist supports himself by exploiting the desire of his classmates to gamble. She decided 'No' when she reached the part where the character's two older brothers beat him up on orders of someone else, and he figures out that not only is this is something they've done to him before but that they willfully manipulate his memory, and have been holding someone hostage in a cage for years. Too dark, too casually violent for AW to recommend it to a new teen, as opposed to him choosing it on his own or through peer word-of-mouth. In such a case, she would not try to discourage his reading it, but make sure to talk to him about it during.

Bleeding Violet, Dia Reeves (protagonist: age 16)
This is the title that AW feels most strongly about, perhaps because it had so much going for it at the outset: biracial heroine (as someone of mixed background herself, AW loves these kinds of stories), rejection issues, bipolar disorder (mental health deserves much more media/literary attention), and the big one: some really deft writing.

By the end of the book, AW had no ambivalent feelings (like with 'White Cat)'. She had problems both as a reader and a parent. Unlike others (to judge by GoodReads reactions), it was not the suicide attempt that gave her pause - since it seems to her that in a book where mental health is one of the central features, it can't really be surprising that suicide might come up. Nor the seriously dysfunctional relationship between mother and child. Though AW had a number of issues with the book, the dealbreaker was when the story crossed the line into full-on horror mode.

AW anticipated this book to be a paranormal story about a mid-range teenager dealing with difficult health and childhood issues (all of this info being plainly available in the back cover blurb). She did not anticipate a teenaged character being not only tortured but made to appear ridiculous as it took place due to inclusion of a sexual element while the protagonist looks idly on, nor that same character being killed in horrific fashion that left body parts dumped at the front door of a family, nor a preschool aged character learning of this.

So why did AW finish the book, the Gentle Reader may ask?

Because she hoped that the story resolution would show some parts having been influenced by the protagonist's altered perception of reality, given her bipolar condition.

Didn't happen.

THE BIG PICTURE:

Does AW think young readers shouldn't read stories with mature themes?

On the contrary. She very much thinks they should. Here's the big IF: They should read them when

a) they have the opportunity to discuss those themes with someone trusted and older, who can guide them past potential nightmares, anxiety, and personal triggers (all of which are very real risks as AW is aware through personal experience and observation), and

b) they have reached a minimum level of developmental maturity for how explicitly those themes are handled in the book. This can vary, depending on the individual parent's views (and given the Grade 3 reading list example, she'd rather go with parent views than teacher views) .

AW's rule of thumb is that it is probably good for the reader to be the same, or very close to, the protagonist's age.

Blanket Labelling of all Books featuring young protagonist with generic YA label = Insanity

Bookstore and library books featuring adult protagonists are not all slapped with a generic A label. They are subdivided into historical, fantasy, science fiction, etc. etc.

Why in the world isn't this done with YA books? If 'Bleeding Violet' had had a horror label attached, AW could have simply left it on the shelf for afficionados of that genre, and everyone would have been happy.

Alternatively, if the front cover and back blurb were more careful to include clues as to content, readers would be better able to sort out which are good personal options and which they should steer clear of.

Is that so hard?

Quote of the Day

2011-02-16T13:12:00.000-08:00

Apprentice Writer grows ever more irritated by cliched similes and metaphors. She has been forced to endure far, far too many instances of garments "...fitting like a second skin" and men moving "....like a jungle cat". These kinds of descriptions are not only tedious, but inept as well since they can so easily be interpreted away from where the author wants to go. Frex:

Like a second skin could mean that the garment hangs in wrinkly, saggy folds. So if that's not what the author meant, s/he would have to write "....fit like a second skin of someone not yet past their thirties and who hadn't lost a lot of weight suddenly and who didn't possess longlasting signs of childbirth across their abdomen". That would be more accurate but a little wordy.

Similarly, the description of moving "...like a jungle/large cat" always makes AW think "As opposed to a mountain/small cat, because everyone knows that jungle and large cats are silent and graceful whereas mountain and small cats are leadfooted klutzes."

What all this means is that AW is utterly delighted to come across a fresh new description. Bonus marks if it is funny. Allow her to present the quote of the day from Terry Pratchett's 'Going Postal':

"His beard looked like he'd been interrupted while eating a hedgehog."

Ha!

Valentines Day

2011-02-13T16:11:00.001-08:00

In honor of all things romantical....

and, P.S. :
Bravo, Egypt. May your love affair with democratic ideals remain unextinguished.

Semi Colon Day

2011-02-08T07:18:00.000-08:00

Apprentice Writer loves a well-deployed semi colon.

She is therefore grateful to Signor Aldus Manutius, an Italian printer who way back in 1494 invented the picturesque little symbol that still lends so much drama to sentence rhythm and so much frustration to grammar teachers who one and all feel it is used incorrectly, all the time.

Hooray for punctuation innovations!

And hooray for people who appreciate them, such as comment poster/poet Ozzie Maland over at emdashes.com who wrote

'Ode to a Semi Colon

Thou art the fairest mark of all;
Thy graceful curve and stellar dot
Would e'en the singing lark enthrall:
Who'd spurn thy use had better not.'

Apprentice Writer feels that half a century should not have to pass by before more punctuation is invented. For example, she thinks it would be great to have a symbol to deploy instead of a regular-type question mark in situations where the question is intended rhetorically, and another where the question is intended sarcastically.

Since the upside down question mark is already claimed by Spanish-speakers for standard issue questions, perhaps a sideways question mark? A reverse question mark followed by a regular one to form a question mirror image?

m/

Quote of the Day

2011-02-03T19:54:00.001-08:00

Apprentice Writer recently posted a book review that contained the observation that one of the most fun things about fantasy and science fiction novels is the opportunity for the author to get creative with language. That book reviewed on that particular occasion feel flat in lingual creativity, a fact AW was reminded of recently when she came across an example where it didn't.

In 'Scar Night', a dark (very!) fantasy by Alan Campbell, one of the villains travels deep into the so-called Deadsands outside of the chained city and encounters members of the so-called primitive nomadic tribes who have survived, some more and some less intact, the city military forces periodic attempts to exterminate them. An elderly, partially senile member of the tribal council objects:

"You loose-fluted bastard! I don't give a shrivel!"

AW's point is made: the reader doesn't have to know what loose flutes or shrivels are to understand the character's meaning perfectly.

Signs You've Been Reading Too Much Romance

2011-01-23T12:46:00.001-08:00

By day Jessica of 'Read, React, Review' is a professor of all things philosophical/ethical/feminist, by night she's a thoughtful blogger of whatever strikes her fancy, which includes voracious reading in genre fiction.

This has resulted, among many other things, in some very entertaining warning lists, the most recent of which was

10 Signs You've Been Reading Too Much Paranormal Romance

It made Apprentice Writer laugh (even though she scored very low on those 10 signs) so she went back to read previous lists also:

10 Signs You've Been Reading Too Much Historical Romance (AW scored higher here), and

10 Signs You Need to Lay off the Scottish Romance (virgin territory for AW)

All funny. Enjoy.

'About the Author'

2011-01-16T16:53:00.000-08:00

As an occasional book reviewer, Apprentice Writer once participated in a survey that asked, among many other things, whether she read the author information page' never', 'sometimes', 'most of the time', or 'always'.

She wished there had been another category: 'before anything else'.

AW adores the author information section. She believes it gives a tiny but true taste of the author's personality and creativity. If the book is supposed to be funny, for example, but she sees no reflection of that in the author blurb, she develops strong doubts as to the veracity of humor content.

Here some entertaining examples.
Dia Reeves, YA author: "I was born. I did some stuff. I haven't died yet. What do you want from me?" (@ Goodreads)

Gail Carriger, light paranormal author: "Ms. Carriger began writing in order to cope with being raised in obscurity by an expatriate Brit and an incurable curmudgeon. She escaped small town life and inadvertently acquired several degrees in Higher Learning. Ms. Carriger then traveled the historic cities of Europe, subsisting entirely on biscuits secreted in her handbag..." (@ Goodreads)

Anna Dean, historical mystery author: "....her interests include...cream teas and canoeing on very flat water." (back cover)

Diana Holquist, contemporary romance author: "I love to write. That’s pretty much all I do. Ask my family about the undone laundry, the un-bought groceries, and the fact that I rarely find time to get dressed in the morning. Actually, if you train your family right, they won’t notice any of these things..." (@ Goodreads)

Laura Kinsale, historical romance author: "...become a romance writer after six years as a geologist--a career which consisted of getting out of bed in the middle of the night and driving hundreds of miles alone across west Texas to sit drilling rigs, wear a hard hat, and attempt to boss around oil-covered males considerably larger than herself. This, she decided, was pushing her luck. So she gave all that up to sit in a chair and stare into space for long periods of time, attempting to figure out What-Happens-Next." (@ Goodreads)

Jill Mansell, contemporary fiction author: "....writes full time. Actually that’s not true; she watches TV, eats fruit gums, admires the rugby players training in the sports field behind her house, and spends hours on the internet marvelling at how many other writers have blogs. Only when she’s completely run out of displacement activities does she write." (@ Goodreads)

Janet Mullany, historical & paranormal author: "Janet Mullany was raised in England by half of an amateur string quartet..." (back cover)

Jasper Fforde, alternate reality author: "Jasper Fforde...is the son of...the 24th Chief Cashier for the Bank of England, whose signature used to appear on sterling banknotes..." (@ Goodreads)

It goes, perhaps, without saying that AW was not disappointed in the entertainment value of these authors' works after the high expectations raised by their self-descriptive snippets.

Non-Laughter Review: THE HEIR

2011-01-11T18:45:00.000-08:00

THE HEIR
Grace Burrowes
Historical Romance
Sourceboooks, December 2010

Premise: Housekeeper with secrets and responsibility driven heir to an old title develop feelings for one another.

Cover: Title - Short, succinct, ties in well with the next titles in the series (of which 'The Soldier' will be #2). Art - pretty blue, pretty lady, yet attention inexorably drawn to mondo large man-nipple.

What Works: The writing in this novel is a cut above average of what this reader has seen of the genre. There is many a well-turned sentence, deft bit of description, and enjoyable dialogue interchange, so much so that the author can be forgiven for her most overused word: 'lemonade'.

Apprentice Writer really liked the ending, and LOVED the hero's brothers. They each have different strengths and challenges to deal with, which will without question be explored in follow up novels, but what this reader liked the best about them was how they supported one another.

And as a former psychology student, AW very much enjoyed the how the process of mental/emotional change in various characters was depicted. It reflected the reality that very few individuals are overwhelmingly 'good' or 'bad'. Most are a mix of both, and can be coaxed one way or another on the continuum depending on stimulus, underlying personality traits, and sheer luck of what they may encounter in any given day.

What Doesn't: This is a story for readers who like character-driven novels. It takes a long time for things to get going, and even at the height of the erstwhile suspense, the action is over pretty quickly. This is not necessarily a flaw - Apprentice Writer quite likes 'quiet' stories, especially when well-written. It was more a matter of there being a fair amount of buildup for the housekeeper's secret aspect such that AW had a bit of a 'That's it?' reaction once it was resolved, intensified by a brief TSTL moment on the part of the heroine.

There is a lot of talk. This can be interpreted both as positive (it's really nice to see how various characters become close to one another) and negative (can verge on 'telling rather than showing'). The characters also seem remarkably insightful about themselves and others. This had an almost humorous effect for AW, as it was the opposite end of the spectrum of how the main characters behaved in the book she had read immediately prior. To be honest, it was kind of a refreshing change.

And finally, the big one: how much the reader enjoys this book may depend on what they define as 'romantic', and/or how skilled they are at division of real life and literature. Because the H/H relationship development is a textbook case of sexual harassment. Given the power imbalance between the main characters, the situations the hero constructs, and the way he tries to persuade to certain courses of action, the fact that there is no physical coercion involved becomes secondary.

It does help that the feelings the couple build for one another are so genuine, and that the heroine is utterly unintimidated by the hero and really makes him work for the happy end. But it could have been a much different (i.e. uglier) situation if she had felt obliged to fake such emotion.

From personal experience, AW is aware that such reality/story division can be achieved. She is personally appalled by infidelity following some instances in her extended family, yet somehow, much to her surprise, she found the characters in 'Same Time, Next Year' sympathetic and the story touching. Go figure. What she is saying is: sexual harassment is a hot-button issue for some people, so the reader may want to evaluate if this is the case for him/her and act accordingly when evaluating whether to read this book.

Overall: A thoughtful, well-written historical romance that will appeal to readers who enjoy exploration of family dynamics. Readers who prefer 'sweet' level love scenes should be aware that these tend to be on the explicit side. AW will look forward to reading the hero's brothers' stories.

/m

Literary Lolcats

2011-01-10T19:35:00.000-08:00

Apprentice Writer is working on a book review. Till it's done, here some well-read felines for the Gentle Reader to enjoy.

2011 Predictions

2011-01-01T08:14:00.000-08:00

Predictions of 100% certainty:

In AW's home: Spongebob Squarepants popularity will hold steady, Disney Princesses will gain ground (perplexing fatherly onlookers who thought full saturation had been reached), and lobby groups promoting the entitlement of 14 year olds to choose entertainment completely independently will increase their pressure tactics.

In the literary world: More YA, less zombies, same amount of handwringing over the precarious future of the industry, continued insidious advance of true axis of (addictive) evil: bookstores joined with coffeeshops.

Predictions of less than 100% certainty:

In AW's home: she will keep all her new years resolutions.

In the literary world: Barring respective internal innovation, Facebook and Twitter reach a plateau (as shown by lukewarm reception of first print novel in tweets by Theresa Medeiros), paving the way for emergence of some new social media titan. Blogging will continue to hold steady among those cyberati who like online connecting in a more extensive, less commericialized way than seems to have become the case for many FBers and tweeters. Readers who leapt upon dedicated ereaders when they first appeared will now keep their eye on ipad developments to ponder the question of when to make the jump.

And authors of every subgenre everywhere will continue to ask the question:

How in the name of Gutenburg did J.K. Rowling and Stephanie Meyer do it?????

Looking Back: 2010 Entertainment

2010-12-22T12:37:00.000-08:00

It is The Law! in Bloglandia that bloggers must create end of year lists. If you don't, they send your posts off to black holes in cyberspace and give all your contact information to spammers and trolls. Or something.

Being an upstanding and lawabiding cybercitizen, here Apprentice Writer's EOY list in no particular order.

Most Enjoyable Historical Debut: Rose Lerner, 'In For a Penny'. Sympathetic characters that not only grow but do so believably, and a plot that refreshingly is as much about the group of people surrounding the two main characters as it is about those characters themselves. Ominously, Ms. Lerner is a Dorchester author and will see her follow-up book distributed as ebook only rather than print. Hopefully she has gained enough presence not to suffer unduly from Dorchester's 'reorganization'.

Most Disappointing Junior Movie: Toy Story 3. Way too much tension for the target demographic, too few laughs, this was Disney/Pixar making a grab for the 3D cash cow.

Book that Started Well But Could Have Been So Much More: Audrey Niffenegger, 'Her Fearful Symmetry'. A Ph.D. who doesn't toss aside his more snoozeworthy dissertation subject when the real thing comes along? An undertaker with no curiosity about Very Odd requests? A cemetary bigwig who witnesses something Impossible and says only 'How improper!' (or something to that effect) and that's it? Suspension of disbelief broken to the degree that the book was finished purely for the sake of finding out what happened to infinitely more appealing subplot characters.

Most Enjoyable Movie Seen This Year but Released Last: Sherlock Holmes.
RDJ and Jude Law in top form - come on! What's not to like?

Most Thoughtful Movie Seen This Year but Released Last: Up in the Air

Book that Managed to Live Up to Its Hype: Kathrynn Stockett, 'The Help'

Most Ongoing Guilty Reality TV Pleasures: Top Chef, Next Iron Chef, Amazing Race, So You ThinkYou Can Dance (US & Canada)

Most Missing-in-Action-in-Canada Guilty Reality TV Pleasure: Project Runway

Most Eagerly Anticipated Books Released This Year But Inexplicably Haven't Gotten Around to Yet (AKA longest Category Title, AKA Most Grammatically Incorrect Category Title):
Dark Road to Darjeeling, Deanna Raybourn (historical mystery, Book 4 in a series)
The Iron Duke, Meljean Brook (steampunk, Book 1 in a series)
Lightborn, Alison Sinclair (dark fantasy, Book 2 in a trilogy)
Towers of Midnight, Brandon Sanderson & Robert Jordan (high fantasy, Book 13 and second-to-last in a series)
Major Pettigrew's Last Stand, Helen Simonson (literary fiction, standalone)

Worst Movie: For a long time, the most likely contender was From Paris with Love , which offended cinematically and geopolitically in equal measure. John Travolta channels old Schwarzenegger movies by shooting wildly all over the place while in various forms of motion and having pretty much every bullet hit a target while scads of adversaries miss every time despite dispensing a revolution's worth of ammo. More oddly, EVERY SINGLE ONE of the vast quantities of people he kills are members of visible minority groups. Considering how often parts of Paris have burned due to racial tensions in recent years, this was an astonishingly unfortunate visual image. Does France really need cinematic entertainment that sends the message that visible minorities are criminal scum that deserve eradication by over-the-hill megalomaniacs?
Apprentice Writer thinks not.

Then along came Baby on Board. This utter waste of celluloid was mean-spirited, distasteful, and most of all 100% unfunny. AW is entirely unfamiliar with Jerry O'Connell's previous work (who, by the way, wins this year's award for Worst Haircut for a Male Character) and had only seen 'Bowfinger' (which she really enjoyed) of Heather Graham's work, so she can't tell if this film is representative. But she has been a fan of John Corbett's since his 'Northern Exposure' days and was sorely disappointed to see him as, perhaps, the biggest culprit in this execrable mess. Mr. Corbett - what has happened to you??

Most Unexpectedly Fun Movie: 'Killers'. After the drudgery of 'The Ugly Truth' (Katherine Heigl and Gerrard Butler have NO chemistry), 'The Bounty Hunter' (Jennifer Aniston and Gerrard Butler have NO chemistry), and 'Love Happens' (Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhard have NO chemistry), AW was not expecting a whole lot from this Katherine Heigl/Ashton Kutcher vehicle but she actually really liked it. Maybe the problem with the others was Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston?

Most Promising Book Currently Reading: Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by N.K. Jamesin. Holy Gripping Storyline, Batman - this fantasy gives new meaning to the terms 'multi-layered' and 'don't treat the reader like s/he has no intelligence'. Beautifully written, but wow do you ever have to pay attention to what's going on. And it's book 1 of a trilogy, so if the beginning momentum holds up, it looks to be a promising start to the new reading year!

GENTLE READER - HAVE YOU MADE YOUR LIST?

Non-Laughter Review: BENEATH THE 13 MOONS

2010-12-19T16:51:00.000-08:00

BENEATH THE 13 MOONS
by Kathryne Kennedy
Sourcebooks Casablanca
December 2010 (reissue)

Premise: On an aquatic planet ruled by access to a narcotic root, individuals from opposite ends of the political spectrum have an opportunity to increase their own paranormal talents and influence their whole society if they co-operate.

Cover: Title - Intriguingly worded, accurate of content, and displayed in a lovely purple cartouche with cool font. Art - Sourcebooks' love affair with the nekkid anonymous manchest continues. Though Apprentice Writer despises this fixture of romance covers, honesty compels her to state it gives the potential reader fair warning of what to find in these pages, including the mullet wafting in the breeze. AW personally wished that more of the gorgeous background had been visible. She would have loved for the bakers dozen of moons (obscured by the chest), and the partially submerged trees backlit by diffuse sunlight (obscured by various text bytes), to be shown in full on the back cover or maybe in a stepback. Overall: representative of content.

What Works: Would-be writers are often instructed to start their stories with a 'hook'; situation so fascinating or action so gripping that the reader can't help but read on to find out more and get 'sucked' into the story. This novel takes that advice to heart, opening with a woman so desperate to save her village from a killer fever that has struck down her lifemate and child that she risks all to kidnap a healer only to realize that he is heir to the royal throne and she will likely die en route from overdose of the narcotic she uses to enhance her powers to 'See' through the waters. Definitely not a boring opener or ho-hum stakes.

Even better: the world is marvelous. Thirteen moons that exert different types of tidal pull on the waters, villages and palaces alike built in trees, amazing plant life ( including some you can crawl into with interesting results) and animals, aboriginal beings who can mindmerge and be seen or invisible at will, an entire society built around a controlled substance (much like the spice in the classic 'Dune' series)... A lot of imagination went into creating the setting for the story. It reminded AW a bit of Pandora from the recent movie 'Avatar', if the trees had been surrounded by water and the indigenous people less blue.

What Doesn't: 'But AW,' says the Gentle Reader, 'after that kind of intro, what could possibly have not worked?'

Sadly, multiple aspects. Nothing about this book was average for AW; she kept shooting back and forth between elements she loved that those she unloved. Such as:

WARNING! MODERATELY SPOILERIFIC!

- Pacing. After a rocketing start with high stakes kidnapping (hooray!), the two main characters proceed to spend most of the next 100 pages in a boat feeling physically attracted to one another and covering this with verbal sniping (boo!).

- Writing. One of the most fun and creative things about sci/fi and fantasy is the opportunity to create variations in language and expressions to go along with invented worlds. Here, there were scenes in a remote smuggler village (yay!) where the inhabitants say things like 'sexy', 'get it?', and 'boyfriend' that tore this reader out of the story (boo!). There were instances of cliche, both in word choice (people 'tense' and 'freeze' a lot, garments 'fit like second skins', the hero frequently 'threw back his head', etc.) and in genre stereotype, such as the heroine thinking during a life-or-death pursuit situation how much the hero's eye color and hair swishing make her presumed-to-be-lost sexual desire reawaken. There was one (presumably unintentional) comical instance when the frequent romance genre use of 'paling' of a character's face to signify emotion shown rather than told was applied to an animal. This would have been OK except that his skin is covered in scales.

- Character Development. It's nice when there is some, and when it is roughly equivalent if there is more than one main character. In this case, the reader starts off with pleasant sense of curious anticipation about how the author will bring together a woman who is fiercely independent, resourceful, and talented but poor (yay!) with a man who is fiercely proud, privileged, talented, but not entirely closed-minded (double yay!). In practice, far too much space is taken up with the character's growth stalled at thinking/saying to/about each other that one is a 'water rat' and one is 'arrogant' (boo!).

The hero does start to come around and show notable improvement through his association with her and others of her background, but the heroine took far too long to make not enough mental/emotional progress for this reader. It made what was interpreted as independent spirit and fortitude early in the story look more like pig-headedness and reverse snobbism as the novel progressed. Frex: when the hero says he loves her, she thinks and tells him with absolute conviction that he has no idea what love is - without ever having inquired about his previous romantic involvements. Or, for that matter, non-romantic love experiences. It made her endless accusations to him of arrogance sound like the pot calling the kettle black.

- Internal Logic. The conflict between the main characters hinges on the impossibility of their relationship, given her pariah status and his princeliness. Yet when he arranges their wedding within a day after returning to the palace (royal wedding and true love: hooray!) there is no peep of protest, including from his parents, who promptly disappear again from the remainder of the book (boo!). Wildlings (born outside the royal family with unusual powers) are supposedly 'hunted' as the heroine's mother was, yet the heroine is almost entirely ignored by the palace dwelllers. The hero supposedly has enemies at court, yet after a very long time of doing nothing while the heroine is in proximity, they suddenly make their move through her at a highly unlikely time when she is not, that seems calculated purely to emphasize the romantic connection. Etc.

- Sacrifice of other elements to serve the romance. This was the aspect AW had most trouble with because she so yearned for more description of the fantastical world. For the first time ever, a member of the royal family spends time in a hardscrabble swamp village (hooray!) Yet rather than experiencing it through his eyes, it is summarized as '...these past few weeks, hunting and working with your people, I've come to realize they're my people too' (Boo!) The heroine has succeeded in bringing a healer, thus saving the village from mass deaths, yet apart from her immediate in-law family, there is neither reaction from anyone else, nor interest on the heroine's part on how others have fared under the hero's treatment. The only non-family villagers mentioned are two women who remain nameless, who serve solely to make the heroine jealous of the attention he bestows on them. The couple travel to the palace (hooray!) where the heroine has precisely zero curiosity in what the prince does or where he goes all day (boo!). She learns the aboriginal people and animals have astonishing unsuspected knowledge and powers of the mind, but categorically dismisses their efforts to make contact with her because she doesn't like their encouragement of her relationship with the hero, etc.

END SPOILERS!

AW was desperate for more page time devoted to worldbuilding and less time to the push-pull (literal and figurative) between main characters. The gentle reader may ask: Can a satisfying balance between the two be achieved? Yes! For excellent examples of believable emotion with richly detailed worlds, take a look at Ann Aguirre's sci-fi 'Sirantha Jax' series, Alison Sinclair's dark fantasy 'Darkborn' series, Ilona Andrews urban fantasy 'Kate Daniels' series and rural fantasy 'Edge' series, and the queen of them all: Sarah Monett's dark fantasy 'Doctrine of Labyrinths' series. All excellent at providing relationship-building and believable alternate settings in equal measure.

Overall: Rather than fantasy romance, which was what she had expected, AW would describe this novel as Romance, capital 'R', with some fantasy elements.

Consequently, 'pure' romance fans would probably find it more to their liking than this reader, who struggled with unfulfilled expectations about what fantasy novels entail, and with the cover quote that promised '.....will give adult lovers of Harry Potter the fix they've been missing.'

The only thing that could be considered reminiscent of the Potter world were the rare occasions Harry and Lord Voldemort connected with each other's minds for brief flashes of time. But that occured in such a different way that it is a tremendous stretch to compare the two, meaning AW is at a loss to understand why the Potter parallel was even drawn.

She will, however, watch 'Avatar' again, and imagine how the movie could have been enhanced if the Pandoran trees had been in a swamp with treecats and narwhals, subject to the tidal pull of thirteen moons, if the antagonistic groups had socioeconomic rather than ethnic differences, and so on and on.

/m

Austen Love

2010-12-14T18:01:00.000-08:00

Thursday December 16th is Jane Austen's 235th birthday.

Well not exactly, but the rate at which Austen-inspired paranormal tales seem to be flying off the shelves these days, once can almost imagine it in a literal, undead sense in addition to the anniversary sense.

Whether the Gentle Reader prefers Jane in her original author persona, as a sleuth, or possibly a vampire slayer, every taste can be satisfied on Thursday.

For the classically inclined, Sourcebooks is offering free ebooks of Pride & Prejudice, Emma, Persuasion, Sense & Sensibility, Northanger Abbey and Mansfield Park for one day (Thursday, natch).

For the experimentally inclined,there are free ebooks of ten Austen variations, also on Thursday.

Because everyone can use a little more of Mr. Darcy.

Challenges in the New Year

2010-12-06T19:17:00.001-08:00

We've arrived in the season.

Of cookies and snow-shoveling related back injuries, you ask?

Of 'Best Books of Read in the Past Year' and 'Best Books to Read in the New Year', Apprentice Writer answers.

In this vein, two Reading Challenges the Gentle Reader may be interested in

'The Women of Science Fiction', hosted by Dreams and Speculation, features a female-authored novel each month, with participants choosing whether to go along with one month's choice or all twelve and the end-of-month online discussion for each one. When AW checked, 115 bloggers were already signed up.

&

'The Women of Fantasy', hosted by Jawas Read Too! , likewise features a female-authored novel each month, with participants choosing whether to go along with one month's choise or up to all twelve and the end-of-month online discussion for each one. When AW checked, 96 bloggers were already signed up.

AW herself applauds the Dreamer's and Jawa's aim to stimulate interest in these authors' work but will not take part in all 12x2 dual reads/chats. This is because, no matter how stellar the grouped novels may be, trial and error has shown her that she does not do well with reading too long in any one genre. She needs to mix things up to retain her interest. She will, however, unbend enough to add a few more of the tasty-looking featured titles to her TBR.

Gentle Reader, what about you? Any interesting lists or challenges floating around your corner of cyberspace?

Yes, Please

2010-12-01T12:52:00.001-08:00

First Impression: Ho Hum
Second Impression: Where have you been all my life??????????

One supposes the happy bookcase owner would have to select very heavy books else they'll all go flying whenever the secret chamber is revealed....

Paraprosdokian Sentences

2010-11-26T17:03:00.000-08:00

Gentle Reader: Don't you just love them?

Or are you like Apprentice Writer and had to google 'paraprosdokian'? It means figure of speech with unexpected ending.

Frex:

'Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.'

'The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.'

'I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.'

'Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.'

'I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it, so I said 'Implants?' '

/m

Non Laughter Review: CHILD OF A NORTHERN SPRING

2010-11-22T08:58:00.000-08:00

CHILD OF A NORTHERN SPRING
Persia Wooley
Historical Fiction
Sourcebooks, November 2010 (reissue)

Premise: Princess Guinevere moves from childhood in the harsh realm of Rheged to bride of High King Arthur of Camelot.

Cover: Title: Not very informative in itself, but makes more sense when put together with 'Book One of the Guinevere Trilogy' and 'The Legend Begins....' subtitle. Art: Very pretty with dull moss green background and leaf accents which do an excellent job of highlighting the silver foil font and lovely image of a classical painting. Overall: well done, eye-catching.

What Works: When Apprentice Writer first discovered Mary Stewart's trilogy of the Arthurian legend as told through the eyes of Merlin the Sorcerer ('The Crystal Cave', 'The Hollow Hills', 'The Last Enchantment'), she was indeed enchanted by the power of the story and the author's marvelous writing. Both hold up to rereading many years later. She was less enamored of Marion Zimmer Bradley multi-POV version in 'The Mists of Avalon '. So it seemed Persia Wooley's approach could go either way.

AW was pleased to find that she enjoyed this variation (or more accurately, the first third of it) very much. Seeing developments through the eyes of Guinevere - female, without magical gifts, raised with expectations of high work ethic and duty consciousness despite well-born status, surrounded by wellwishers from birth yet unspoiled, natural, and likable - rather than through the eyes of Merlin - male, with supernatural powers, raised without physical ease or affection, brilliant, mercurial and a lifelong outsider - gave the story an entirely different feel, rhythm, and emphasis.

The author is skilled in bringing the Dark Age of Britain to vivid and compelling life. Alongside the protagonists, the reader is swept into a time when daily life was more elemental: poor weather means reduced harvest means starvation in winter; lower birth rate or unusual illness means fewer defenders during border skirmishes means possible takeover of the kingdom and being carried off into slavery; etc. It was fascinating to see how logically this very low margin for error meant that different spiritual beliefs - including those we can recognize as superstitions now, but were considered a matter of life-or-death urgency then - permeated individual and community life. The way that Christianity made inroads into an island filled with Druid culture and references to magical and fae beings was another interesting facet to the story.

The very fact that the main brushstrokes of the legend are so well-known (no one is going to be surprised at the love triangle, the infertility, the fact that ambitions compatriots throw obstacles in the way) piques the reader's curiosity as to a 'new' author's taken on when and how to weave in the first mention and then first appearance of each main character. It was cleverly done in this book, with Lancelot's name mentioned far in advance of any actual screen time, and more intriguingly the Lady of the Lake with her soothing and lyrical name in such contrast with sinister-seeming first mention in Guinevere's childhood. Good anticipation-planting.

What Doesn't
The author engages in a series of flashbacks and flashforwards in the beginning of the book, between the time of Guinevere's departure from home to marry Arthur and childhood scenes that brought her to that point. Presumably this was done to create a sense of heightened drama, but for this reader, it was an unneccessary and distracting tactic. AW would have preferred the tried and true simple chronological approach better.

This is also a book better suited to readers who appreciate a gradual buildup rather than a lots of action and high narrative tension throughout; this is only the first installment in the trilogy, so many of the 'meaty' developments so well-known of the legend are not touched on yet here. AW had no problem with this, but mentions it so that the gentle reader would be aware and can make her/his own decision accordingly.

Overall
A lovely addition to the library of historical fiction enthusiasts,
a nightstand occupant which no-one would be embarrassed to be caught with,
a gift candidate for book-lovers on the gentle reader's holiday list.

Motivation Level Today

2010-11-15T20:03:00.001-08:00

Book Grading Systems

2010-11-08T15:52:00.000-08:00

Gentle Reader: How do you grade your reading material?

There are many systems out there. The minimalist thumbs up or down, the maximalist 0-100%, and everything in between: 0-7 colors of the rainbow, 0-10 punctures of the vampire's fangs, empty dish - full banana split with cherry on top, etc. etc.

Some reviewers are ruthless in sharing their true thoughts about a novel's flaws, and occasionally, it's strengths - which would seem to render the rare praise they do bestow all the more valuable. The Simon Cowells of book reiviewing, to use a metaphor well past its sell-by date.

Some reviewers seem to follow the infamous instructions issued by some authors who shall remain nameless that reviews MUST be 'nice', because mentioning perceived flaws is 'mean' and mean, apparently, is bad (which would seem to diminish the usefulness of these reviews as they tend to be non-stop, all out gushery). The Paula Abduls of book reviewing, to use a metaphor even further past its sell-by date.

Who does that leave to be the moderate Randi Jacksons? Well, people like Apprentice Writer.

As the regular Gentle Reader will know, Apprentice Writer doesn't assign a rank to the reviews posted here. She is however an avid Goodreads hound, which operates on a system of 1 (did not like) to 5 (it was amazing) stars. Here is how it pans out:

3 stars ("liked it") is AW's default rating. She chooses to see this not as wishy-washy, but logical: she woulnd't pick up the book to read if she didn't expect to like it.

This means, a book really has to work at going up to 4 ("really liked it") or down to 2 ("it was OK") from that 'safe' spot. And it has to be spectacularly good or horrendous to move to 1 or 5. which she bestows with great care.

Let us draw a veil over the atrocities that must take place for 1 star to be bestowed. But what, exactly, does a book have to do to get those rare 5 stars?

It has to satisfy all these conditions:

- Great story, with sense of true satisfaction at the end
- Great characters and/or characterization (these are not always the same thing)
- Impressive writing that sweeps her along
- At least one line that is brilliant enough to be included in her quotation collection
- Must be sure that will want to re-read it in future.

The last condition is one that many books that made it all the way up to 4.5 stars stumble over, falling right before the finish line. For the record, here a cross-section of titles on AW's Keeper shelf:

Crocodile on the Sandbank, Elizabeth Peters (humorous historical mystery; first in a series, set in Egpyt)

The Silver Pigs, Lindsey Davis (humorous historical mystery; first in a series, set in Imperial Rome)

Life of Pi, Yann Martel (contemporary literary fiction)

Mr. Impossible, Loretta Chase (historical romance)

White Oleander, Janet Fitch (contemporary literary fiction)

Lessons in French, Laura Kinsale (historical romance)

Good Grief, Lolly Winston (contemporary literary fiction)

Fall on Your Knees, Anne Marie MacDonald (contemporary literary fiction)

The Big Over Easy, Jasper Fforde (alternate reality mystery)

Private Arrangements, Sherry Thomas (historical romance)

The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kinsolver (contemporary literary fiction)

The Sweentess at the Bottom of the Pie, Alan Bradley (mystery)

A Fine Balance, Rohinton Mistry (literary fiction)

Gentle Reader - How about you?

Lightning Movie Reviews: One Word or More

2010-10-31T13:03:00.000-07:00

Apprentice Writer is all admiration for bloggers who provide thorough, insightful, nuanced movie reviews. But today she takes a different approach: short and shortest. Choose your brevity!

SHERLOCK HOLMES
One Word: Fabuloso

More: AW cannot understand why this got lukewarm reviews. She adored the humor, the music, the care with which gritty details of period London came to life, the perfect balance between Watson and Holmes (in contrast to all earlier versions in which Watson is a complete imbecile), RDJ's noteperfect over-the-topness. The only aspect that didn't work for her was the casting of Rachel MacAdams as Irene Adler. She has resigned herself to a grungy half-naked boxing scene in every Guy Ritchie film she sees, and forgives him for this indulgence because of how well he's returned to form after the lacklustre 'Rocknrolla' (she doesn't count the appalling 'Swept Away', because that wasn't really a Ritchie film. It was a Mr. Madonna film).

BODY OF LIES
One word: Pointless.

More: Long-feeling film with Russell Crowe indulging a god complex and Leo DiCaprio begin a remarkably ineffective secret agent. No particular resolution, no message, utterly unconvincing romantic attraction subplot.

INVICTUS
One word: Inspiring.

More: To watch this film, AW had to decide if her admiration for Nelson Mandela outweighed her distaste for Morgan Freeman. It did (despite the IRLcrossover irony of a scene where Mandela's character informs an interested lady that he is not a polygamist), and she found the story of utilizing every circumstance and unlikely hero for reconciliation rewarding. She also learned two things about the hitherto totally unknown-to-her sport of rugby: players can pass the ball only to the side or back. And teams are made up of astonishingly beefy men, having the size and shape of fully suited up American football players - but without the suit.

MANAGEMENT
One word: Feel-good.

More: AW has liked Steve Zahn ever since seeing his endearingly non-competent criminal character in the excellent George Clooney vehicle 'Out of Sight'. Here he maintains his quirk and sincerity in a low-key tale of an average guy trying to figure out how to stay true to himself, despite the curves thrown by life, Jennifer Aniston, and Woody Harrelson.

and speaking of George....

UP IN THE AIR
One word: Excellent.

More: Clooney for President, Prime Minister, and anything else that needs smarts and thoughtfulness. If this doesn't score some Oscars, there is something very wrong with the Academy's sense of zeitgeist.

TOY STORY 3
One word: Disappointing.

More: Not enough laughs, WAY too much tension for the younger set (which is, after all, the target demographic), villain from Toy Story 2 recycled, the only truly enjoyable bit Buzz Lightyear en espanol - this was a shameful cash-grab by Pixar by jumping on the 3-D bandwagon.

And what have you watched lately?

Quotes of the Day: Loretta Chase

2010-10-18T09:39:00.000-07:00

One of Apprentice Writer's favorite novelists is Loretta Chase. This is not remarkable, as she is one of many, many readers' favorite novelists. Consequently, whenever she has a new novel out (which is not as frequently as some other authors) there is much excitement in the air, made up in equal parts of confident expectation of lovely writing, funny dialogue, memorable characters, and happy questions about how it will all mix together this time.

The latest is 'Last Night's Scandal', one in her ongoing 'Fallen Women' series, which AW rates higher than 'Almost a Lady' but lower than 'Lord Perfect', from which the two protagonists are taken. As other Chase fans have remarked: this novel doesn't quite reach the literary heights hoped for, but it's still a Chase - meaning well above average in the historical romance arena.

For AW's gentle readers, some bits that made her laugh:

(right before setting out to explore a dilapidated castle after dark)
" 'Trousers,' said Lisle grimly.
'You told me to wear something sensible,' she said. 'I should never be able to get into tight spaces in a dress.'
'You're not going into any tight spaces,' he said.
'For women, most spaces are tighter these days,' she said. 'In case you haven't noticed, our fashions are a great deal wider than they used to be. Most of my sleeves are the size of butter churns. I'm sure Great-Grandmama had an easier time getting about in hoop petticoats.'
'If you would stay put and let me do the searching, you wouldn't have to squeeze yourself into garments that were never designed to accomodate a woman's shape.'
'I see,' she said. 'You think my bottom's too big.' "

"...'If you're referring to last night, that was my nightdress,' she said.
'It looked like a shift to me.'
'You can't have seen very many, if you can't tell the difference.'
'I'm a man,' he said. 'We don't go in for the fine details of women's dress. We notice how much or how little they're wearing. I've noticed that you seem to wear very little.'
'Compared to what?' she said. 'Egyptian women? They seem to go to extremes. Either they're completely covered except for their eyes, or they're dancing about wearing a few small bells.' "

"A light knock at the door made him start. (He) opened the door.
Olivia stood before him. She was all in white, in a dressing gown with fluttery things on it, her hair tumbling about her shoulders in glorious disarray.
He pulled her inside and closed the door.
Then he changed his mind and opened the door and tried to push her out.
'Make up your mind,' she said.
'You come to a man's bedchamber dressed in your nightgown and you expect him to have a mind to make up?'
'We need to talk,' she said.
'Let me explain something to you. A girl who comes to a man's room wearing practically nothing is looking for trouble.'
'Yes,' she said.
'As long as that's settled,' he said. "

And finally,
"...' Why couldn't you stay quietly in London and write dramas for the stage?'
She began to wave her arms about. 'Why must women stay quietly? Why must we be little moons, each of us stuck in our little orbit, revolving around a planet that is some man? Why can't we be other planets? Why must we be moons?'
'Speaking astronomically,' he said, 'those other planets all orbit around the sun.' "

You go, girl!

/m

Laughter Reviews: TAKE A CHANCE ON ME

2010-10-15T08:43:00.000-07:00

TAKE A CHANCE ON ME
Jill Mansell
Women's Fiction
Sourcebooks, October 2010

Premise: Permanent-, new-, and returned residents in a small English town wrestle with the meaning and limits of romance and parenthood.

Cover: Title - Generic sounding yet entirely accurate of content. Art - Pretty colors, images (animal sculpture, village street, winter tree and flakes) all relevant to story. Unique author font, cartoonish illustrations, and trademark butterfly all make this instantly recognizable as a Mansell story, further cementing the author brand in readers' minds. Overall - well done.

What Works: The back blurb gives the inaccurate impression that the story is all about Cleo, a young woman unlucky in love who has never left the village, and Johnny, the boy who made high school a misery for her, left to become a wildly successful in America, and has now returned. Their story nominally forms the beginning and ending brackets to the novel, but in reality this is about an ensemble cast - a writing choice that Apprentice Writer really enjoyed. More, she thinks, than if it had been a straight romance story about how 'girl meets boy and they end up together'. The story of how Cleo's sister Abby and her husband deal with the sudden arrival of an unsuspected biological child, how newcomer Fia turns away from her philandering husband and decides whom to turn toward, and how Cleo's buddy and neighbor Ash avoids entanglement with a young admirer while yearning for someone else, all had at least as much screen time as Cleo and Johnny.

It was refreshing that one of the point-of-view characters was male, and quixotic Ash was in fact AW's favorite character, closely followed by the teenager doing her cheerful and ebullient best to come to terms with a new dad, a new mom, a new village, romantic rejection, and a bewildering and utterly non-role-model-worthy old mom.

Also noteworthy were occupations. Though Ash's DJ and Fia's finding-a-new-life-by-becoming-a-professional foodster have been done many a time, Georgia's ironing business, Cleo's girl chauffeur, and Johnny's wire sculptor were all new to AW and she appreciated how each of these were worked into the plotline.

What Doesn't: The willingness of one character to allow herself to be exploited was both irritating in itself (if you write 'Doormat' on your forehead you can't be surprised if people walk on you) , and more than once felt fake, so as to set up a dramatic plotpoint later on. Yet even while she was annoyed with the self-sacrificing aspect of this character, AW could appreciate how the author showed the complexity and longterm emotional devastation of infertility.

Overall: An entertaining and thoughtful tale from the always reliable Jill Mansell. Good for the bathtub, the plane, or a lazy weekend.

/m

Debut Authors: TIFFANY CLARE & V ICKY ESSEX

2010-10-13T08:21:00.000-07:00

Apprentice Writer likes hanging around with writerly-type people. As a rule, they are fun, creative, smart, and most especially, resilient. Anyone who isn't couldn't bear to endure the long, hard, dispiriting slog that is submitting one's work for publication.

So it is always a thrill when one of her writer friends reports success - in winning a contest, getting an agent, or the really Big Kahuna:

MAKING A FIRST SALE

AW is delighted that two of her writing buddies have cleared this hurdle.

Tiffany Clare's debut book, SURRENDER OF A LADY, has just hit U.S. bookstore shelves. With settings in Constantinople (Turkey) and Corfu (Greece), it is sure to please historical romance fans looking for something different. AW looks forward to border hiccups being cleared so she can have the pleasure of purchasing a copy from a Canadian bookstore shelf, and enjoying those exotic locations. Ms. Clare is currently on blogtour to support her debut release. Learn more at her website and grog.

Vicki Essex just made her first sale. FIGHTING FOR HER LOVE features a mixed-martial artist heroine and as such is sure to please contemporary romance fans looking for something a little bit different. Until it is actually on virtual and IRL bookstore shelves, readers can enjoy reading Vicki's alternately funny and instructive blog. Vicki is celebrating her this next step in bringing her characters to life with a fab blog contest from now till end of November. AW loved the so-campy-they're-ultra-cool vintage Harlequin prizes. Learn more here.

Congratulations, ladies. Your success is mondo encouraging to us shlubs still toiling in Prepublicationland.

Quote of the Day

2010-10-06T09:42:00.000-07:00

"Stealth Hit - a phrase seemingly used for novels on the bestseller list that aren't written by Stephanie Meyer or Dan Brown."

Sandra Kasturi, 'Signing Simians Steal Show', in The Toronto Star, 3 October 2010

(An article about 'The Ape House' by Sara Gruen, whose previous novel 'Water for Elephants' was considered one such stealth hit and whose latest is praised by the reviewer)

Non-Laughter Review: DARK AND STORMY KNIGHTS

2010-10-01T13:40:00.000-07:00

Regular readers of this space know that Apprentice Writer has recently struggled with lacklustre enthusiasm for sequel volumes of urban fantasy series.

Does the problem lie within herself, she wonders? Overall genre fatigue? Too great a familiarity with individual author style after the first one or two volumes? Can, perhaps, the dreaded 'sagging middle' of a book (which authors strive so hard to avoid after hooking a reader's interest with great beginning and closing on a rousing end) also transfer to a dreaded 'sagging middle' of a series, with great opening volume, fantastic planned closing volume, and possibly not-quite-as-strong volumes in between?

Being apparently incapable of walking by a UF title on her library's New Release table, AW found herself in temporary possession of DARK AND STORMY KNIGHTS, edited by P.N. Elrod.

Perhaps, thought she, the trick would be to find some new UF authors to read and love.

Ilona Andrews, A Questionable Client
First Line: "The problem with leucrocotta blood is that it stinks to high heaven."
A very Kate Daniels sentiment; her emphasis isn't on the astonishing presence of a mythological beast in her neighborhood, it's on her irritation at having to clean its body fluids off her boots after she cuts off its head. Good opener and fun story.
Premise/Author style: Liked and liked (but this was no surprise as the author is 1 of 2 from 9 with whose work AW was familiar).
Novella did its job? Yes - shall read more as Book 4 in series picked up again.

Jim Butcher, Even Hand
First Line: "A successful murder is like a successful restaurant: ninety percent of it is about location, location, location." Excellent first line.
Premise/Author Style: Liked and liked.
Novella did its job? Yes - would consider seeking out more of author's work.

Shannon Butcher, The Beacon
First Line: "There were ten rounds in Ryder Ward's Glock, but he was going to need only one."
Unremarkable first line.
Premise/Author Style: *snooze*
Novella did its job? No - uninterested in pursuing more of this author's work. Which is sad and unfair for the author in case she is much stronger at full-length than novella writing.

Rachel Caine, Even a Rabbit will Bite
First Line: "I got a letter from the Pope in the morning mail." Intriguing first line.
Premise/Author Style: Interesting /Competent but not so powerful as to draw in on its own.
Novella did its job? Partially. Not opposed to reading more, but didn't find self googling backlist either.

P.N. Elrod, Dark Lady
First Line: "My name is Jack Fleming. I am owned by a nightclub." Funny first line, creates positive anticipation.
Premise/Author Style: Premise had similarities to the Jim Butcher story so AW expected a twist at the end, too, was not forthcoming. Enjoyed the noir style.
Novella did its job? Partially. AW appreciated that the story was well-written, but she is not a vampire person so wouldn't seek out more.

Deidre Knight, Beknighted
First Line: "She'd nearly freed him on three separate occasions, coming so close that she could practically touch the mail of his armor." Creates interest in the story to come.
Premise/Author Style: Interesting premise, but style felt muddled and unconvincing. Multiple instances of brand-name dropping in what is supposed to be a future or alternate world were alienating. Didn't get the motivations and backstory of any of the three characters. Female protagonist had some oddly dim moments. Frustrating that not enough was made of what was an intriguing idea.
Novella did its job? No. Uninterested in pursuing more.

Vicki Pettersson, Shifting Star
First Line: "Skamar left her so-called Mediterranean-style apartment as she always did; after first sniffing the air to make sure there were no mortals about." Meh.
Premise/Author Style: Didn't grasp by time decided to stop reading / Was so difficult to grasp backstory and so uninterested in characters to make the effort to do so stopped reading.
Novella did its job? Might have, if had been hooked enough to find out, but now we'll never know...

Lilith Saintcrow, Rookwood & Mrs. King
First Line: "I need to kill my husband." Dramatic, but feels like it's been done before.
Premise/Author Style: OK/Competent overall and well-done in spots. Of the new-to-AW authors, she was most interested in this one due to following her online posts at the grog 'Deadline Dames'.
Novella did its job? Partially. The writing was fine, the story ended with a twist, but again, it is vampiric. If the author branched out into other territory would take a look.

Carrie Vaughan, God's Creatures
First Line: "Cormac waited in the cab of his Jeep, watching each car that pulled into the rest area on I-25 north of Monument." Seriously: not impressing in the least.
Premise/Author Style: Been done (in this antho, in fact) / Competent.
Novella did its job? Partially. Story was fine, but the content was werewolfic (as is the author's full-length work, of which AW has read the first of series). So AW doesn't anticipate reading more.

SUMMARY:
of 2 Known authors - this reader's expectations were confirmed.

of 7 Unknown authors - this reader is interested to read more of a total of 1.

CONCLUSION:
It really is time to give UF a break and read something else.

Blogging with Flair

2010-09-20T19:09:00.000-07:00

The 3rd annual edition of Book Blogger Appreciation Week (bookbloggerappreciationweek.com), founded by Amy of myfriendamysblog.com, has just concluded. Apprentice Writer participated and had loads of fun in the first two years, and isn't quite sure how she missed signing up this year.

No matter; even non-signupees can make the rounds and find out such things as what one book each participant nominated as a 'Forgotten Treasure' that somehow didn't get the press it deserved when first published, reciprocal interviews introducing another participant, etc.

The part that AW is always charmed by is the creativity not only of blogpost content (and wow, are there ever a lot of smart, erudite bloggers out there*), but of the blogs themselves, so much so that AW wishes she had waited for more of an earnest effort from her own muse when setting up this blog. Here a tiny sample sprinkling of bloggers with undisputed flair:

Title Flair:
Musings of an All Purpose Monkey (Wins for best melding of unboring & self-confident)

Phantom Paragrapher (Apprentice Writer is a sucker for clever alliteration)

Perpetual Pageturner (Ditto)

Lit Snit (Short, Sweet, Fab!)

Semicolon (Exactly!)

The Lost Entwife (With excellent Tolkien quote in place of slogan)

Bermudaonion (Love it, particularly because blog has nothing to do with cooking)

The Literary Omnivore (So much more elegant than AW's usual "I read all kinds of stuff")

Slogan Flair:
Tony's Reading List: Too Lazy to be a Writer, Too Egotistical to be Quiet

Stella Matutina: Books and Stories and Musings, Oh My!

Title & Slogan Flair: Total Win!
Books, Movies and Chinese Food: The Idea for a Perfect Evening

Whimpulsive: It's Not a Word, but it Should Be

Gentle Reader: Come across any memorable Blog Titles or Slogans? Please share!

* Here one such snippet that made AW laugh:
"...It seems that very, very few people have read Guy Gavriel Kay's LORD OF EMPERORS, a book that moved me to tears with a chariot race. (Lots of books move me to tears; few do so with sporting events)." Stella Matutina

/m

NonBook Reviews: 'The Deal' & 'Couples Retreat'

2010-09-15T19:33:00.000-07:00

The Toronto International Film Festival is in full swing.

As always, there is much nuanced analysis about which pic having it's world premier (or almost premier) will be the next Oscar darling (odds favor 'Black Swan'). As always, the closest Apprentice Writer will get to the screenings or megawatt stars will be perusal of the daily snark celebrity photo spreads.

Memo to A-listers: Hey, we know we're not Venice or Cannes. That does not mean it is cool to wear tees and jeans for your walk down the Toronto red carpet (looking at you, Ewan McGregor), frocks fit for library browsing (Helen Mirren), or outfits that could double for duty as a bank teller (too many to mention). At least we can rely on Nicole Kidman to demonstrate how glam lipstick and really well-groomed eyebrows are done.

In the spirit of cinema, some thoughts on two comedies. Yes, AW is aware that these are one and two years old respectively, and yes, that is the promptitude with which she typically sees films. Deal with it. She has.

THE DEAL
2008, Directed by Steven Schachter

AW had never heard of this little gem before stumbling across it late one night when she had rare monopoly of the remote control. She's been a fan of William H Macy ever since 'Fargo' ("You're darn tootin!"). Comprised of 2 parts rumpled mess, 2 parts guileless blue eyes, and six parts chutzpah, he is perfectly cast here as the formerly famous movie producer who is so far down and out that he has nothing to lose when a screenplay and news of an action star's religious conversion almost literally fall into his lap on the same day.

As a lark, he sets out to see how far he can work the Hollywood system in creating a movie out of nothing. Playing off anything and anyone who comes his way, including studio exec Meg Ryan, he makes the viewer continually question how far off from reality many of the 'behind the scenes' scenes really are. AW had no expectations going in and ended up really enjoying it, with the exception of a bit that smacked too strongly of men casually exploiting the power of female sexuality for their own purposes.

Who should see it? Fans of quiet humor, quirk, people who liked the idea of 'Get Shorty' but thought it was too over the top.

COUPLES RETREAT
2009, Directed by Peter Billingsley

AW is not a big fan of Vince Vaughan or Jon Favreau. She is, however, a big fan of Jason Bateman and Jean Reno (Gentle Reader, if you have not see 'The Professional', please: stop reading and go do it now). Throw in geography that is probably on the bucket list of the majority of people (AW cannot believe that she is alone in this), and the interesting premise of 'How do long married couples stay together?' in contrast to the usual 'How do couples get together in the first place?' and the balance tipped in favor of watching. Was it worthwhile?

The answer to that question can probably be divided along gender lines. For AW, the gymnastic extremes to which suspension of disbelief needed to be stretched, the ludicrous difference between the ultra fitness of all the women in the movie (MUCH displayed) contrasting with the average fitness cross-section of the men, the broadness of the humor, the unneccesarily cutesy details (each couple wearing different colored Mao suits during counseling sessions - Why????), the shallow/juvenile quality of several solutions to arising challenges - all combined to eclipse the blissful daze of looking at French Polynesia. Mr. AW on the other hand didn't seem to have a problem.

Who should see it? Fans of loud humor, people who like Vince Vaughan or Jon Favreau films, viewers who don't demand too much plausibility from their stories.

But does it make you laugh?
The Deal: YES
Couples Retreat: NO for AW, YES for Mr. AW

Sequel Fatigue: SPECULATIVE FICTION

2010-09-09T07:24:00.000-07:00

Apprentice Writer is suffering a reader ailment.

She 'discovered' the Urban Fantasy genre some time ago. If she has understood correctly, stories in this niche involve no-nonsene protagonists who deal with decidedly non-everyday realities by discovering or unleashing their super-human talents. As a rule, tremendously creative world-building is involved, and it is this aspect that usually draws AW's interest - as opposed to straight Paranormal tales, which also involve non-regular humanoid beings, but seem more narrowly focused on the romantic attraction between characters. That isn't enough to hold AW's interest; not helped by the fact that she is not a vampire-, werewolf-, or zombie person.

AW has now read enough speculative fiction & UF novels to discover a pattern: being highly impressed with the creativity of a debut book, and then reading the second and having lukewarm rather than excited anticipation for the third.

To wit:

Gail Carriger's 'Parasol Protectorate'
(Victorian steampunk romance: female protagonist is soulless)
Enjoyed the humor and contrast between stuffy society rules and outrageous situations in the first a lot, liked the second but was more irritated by author style idiosyncracies.
Read the 3rd? Yes, but more because of weak resistance to a beautiful cover than anything else.

Stacia Kane's 'Unholy Ghosts'
(Dystopia: female protagonist is a government-employed witch)
Loved the carefully thought out world of the first, second held AW's interest but developed opinion that the series is better described as horror than UF.
Read the 3rd? Undecided. AW is really not a horror person. Yet, anti-hero secondary character is compelling.

Ilona Andrews' 'Kate Daniels'
(Alternate universe: female protagonist is an uber-trained killing machine)
Loved the energy and dry protagonist attitude in the first and second, both elements still good in third but became irritated by third new group of antagonists introduced in as many books with not enough depth of understanding of where they came from, how they work, why they're such fanatical opponents. Gives the series Jackie Chan syndrome, i.e. no one cares that the bits in between fight scenes range from silly to absurd, because they're just empty filler for the main event.
Read the 4th? Yes, but not rushing out to get it.

Seanan MacGuire's 'October Daye'
(Urban fantasy; female protagonist is half fey, able to move between human and fairy worlds)
Delighted with exquisite world-building and alternate races in the first, which was still good in second, but became seriously irritated with heroine herself.
Read the 3rd? Undecided.

Claire Delacroix's 'Guardians of the Republic' (Dystopia, female protagonists are members of different social classes in a totalitarian big-brother society)
Loved the worldbuilding and suspense of the first, felt somewhat dissatisfied when the nature of the story dwelt heavily on relationship of protagonists in second where this reader really wanted more detail of the society.
Read the 3rd? Yes, since the female protagonist promises to be the most interesting yet.

Jennifer Estep's 'Elemental Assassins' (Urban Fantasy; female protagonist is an assasin with magical ability)
First and second held reader's interest, yet somehow, not inciting a 'When is the third one out?' reaction.
Read the 3rd? No strong opinion either way.

Then there are the series in which AW liked the first and yet hasn't moved on to the second in the series:
Kat Richardson, 'Greywalker' (Urban Fantasy; heroine has capacity to see and move in next world after a brief period with no vital signs)
Devon Monk, 'Allie Beckstrom' (Urban Fantasy; heroine has magical ability)
In these two cases, the matter is actually one of author skill that may be too good - the protagon ists' stuggles with headaches and nausea, as the price they pay for their abilities, seems to induce same in this reader.

Gentle Reader: What's your advice? Should AW grit her teeth and keep going? Are any of the next in these series not-to-be-missed keepers? Or should AW simply give UF a break and go to historical fiction 0r mysteries for a year?

/m

BOOK PROPOSAL CURIOUS?

2010-09-06T19:12:00.000-07:00

Apprentice Writer is fortunate to have talented friends. One such is Tanya Freedman, who not only writes a mean book proposal but takes the mystery out of the process for those of us who don't. For the curious, she is holding a seminar on September 14:

Have you ever wanted to write a non-fiction book?
Have you got an idea that you want to test in the market?
Do you want to know how to get that book published?

Writing a book can be therapeutic or just plain fun and with proper help, the results of writing a book can be very lucrative!

Getting the idea down in writing can be daunting.

If you or any of your colleagues want to know how to go about writing a non-fiction book proposal, or how to test your idea on the market, I can help.

I’m a published non-fiction author. I will –

Ø Help conceptualize your idea into a saleable proposal, complete with structure and style

Ø Suggest and research the best publishing route

Ø Help you etch time into your busy life to start writing your proposal and book now

Ø Coach you to write the cover letter for targeted literary agents or publishing editors

If you want to “pay it forward”, please send this email to your contacts, friends and family, who have always wanted to write that book! Or even if they're just curious.

Check out my website for details on "Writing and Selling Your Book Proposal". I'm offering a seminar packed with all the resources needed to create, complete and send out an irresistible book proposal.

For more details on the resources you will receive at the seminar please go to: www.bookproposalmentor.com.

Let me, the Book Proposal Mentor, help you transform your ideas into publication!
Tanya Freedman

Laughter Reviews : HOLLY'S INBOX: SCANDAL IN THE CITY

2010-08-22T17:13:00.000-07:00

HOLLY'S INBOX: SCANDAL IN THE CITY
Holly Denham
Sourcebooks, August 2010

Premise: After finally getting her man and a chance at a great promotion, London working girl comes close to losing it all due to scheming colleagues, misunderstandings in love, and eccentric family members.

Cover: Title- Corresponds to Book 1's title and is a tongue-in-cheek nod to that chicklit juggernaut on this side of the Atlantic: 'Sex and the City'. Art - in shades of girly purple, with iconic cartoony figures and a cover girl pose that says 'talking to friends while at work', there is no mistaking this as anything other than neo-chicklit. Altogether, this cover gets full marks for accuracy.

What Works: Apprentice Writer enjoyed the original 'Holly's Inbox', the aptly named Bridget Jones for the e-generation, and found to her happy surprise that she enjoyed this one just as much if not more due to Holly's increased level of maturity and take-chargeness.

For those unfamiliar with them, these books are written entirely in epistolatory form similar to the original Bridget Jones, however instead of a diary the medium is email. This is one the one hand brilliant, allowing as it does for the reader to 'see' from multiple viewpoints (the heroine, the love interest, the parents, the colleagues, the rival, the open and secret admirers) rather than just the single one of the diary-owner. It is also, on the other hand, an incredibly risky thing for an author to do. Anyone who has ever surfed the internet and witnessed the almost daily flaming explosions of people becoming vastly offended by something someone else posted and responding in ever-escalating kind knows that it is very, very difficult to consistently get one's true message across in the truncated form so beloved of blog commentators and texters. Without the context of body language, voice tone, volume, and chance to backtrack if it looks like someone misunderstood, as happens in personal conversation and in 'regular' novels, there is a tremendous amount of room for faulty communication - most especially with the rapidfire exchange made possibly by today's technology. It would have been much harder to have a flamewar in previous times, when the hotheaded remarks were tempered to the eternities it took for post to go back and forth.

Yet, in what is no small accomplishment, the author pulls it off. The reader gets a clear sense of the underlying personality and motivations of the characters through the flavor and content of their writing style. And in what may be the most remarkable writerly accomplishment of them all, the writer does so while being male. Holly Denham is the pen name of a man who runs a temp agency (if AW has understood correctly). AW learned this after the fact, and did not suspect while reading Book 1. Well played!

AW was also much entertained by how the author worked a real-life, much publicized public relations snafu into the story. Further details cannot be shared due to spoilery; suffice it to say that it made AW laugh when she heard about it in real life, and it made her laugh again when she recognized it here. What she did not think about at the time of the original incident was how the consequences would play out for the staff involved, and the possibilities of that fallout are explored here.

What Doesn't: The antagonist was a bit over the top for this reader's taste, and resolution to the romantic problems felt a tad rapid (though not entirely implausible in method.) Wanted to see a little more grovelling on the love interest's part after putting Holly through such a horrible emotional wringer. That's about it. Not much to grouch about in a full-length novel, and did not detract from overall enjoyment.

Overall: An entertaining, satisfying romp taken straight from headlines and zeitgeist of the new millenium, well worth the time for any fan of chicklit or romantic comedy, and readers who liked Book 1. Those who may feel faint at the door-stopper size of the volume, take heart: it is a actually a super-fast read due to large amount of whitespace on each page devoted to email formatting.

But does it make you laugh? YES!
Apprentice Writer's expectation of Britlit of any genre is that there will be eccentric secondary (or, for that matter, primary) characters and plenty of them. This novel does not disappoint. Holly is the endearing 'straight man' to many equally endearing oddballs, and she never, ever, makes them feel like embarrasing goofs no matter how questionable their choices may be. We should all embrace the 'Live and let live' philosphy so well, and with such good humor.

/m

Triple Review: COMING OF AGE IN AMERICA

2010-08-07T13:26:00.001-07:00

Today, a look at three debut novels, all coming-of-age stories in which the protagonists share first-person voice and family dysfunction. Apprentice Writer has no idea why the cover images are such different sizes; this wasn't supposed to be a statement on relative quality.

GODS IN ALABAMA, Joshilyn Jackson Literary Fiction, 2005

SIDEWAYS, Jess Riley Women's Fiction, 2009

APOLOGIZE, APOLOGIZE, Elizabeth Kelly Literary Fiction, 2009

Premise
1. Alabamian returns home after ten years to confront old ghosts and deal with current family pressures.
2. Middle-American kidney disease survivor goes on a road trip to celebrate life and seek answers to some significant questions.
3. Eldest son of a wildly eccentric/wealthy East Coast family struggles to define himself and build relationships while buffeted from all directions by differing expectations and judgements.

Cover
1. Title - Captures the overarching theme excellently, the small g in'gods' is significant, even though traditional religion with a capital R plays a role as well. Art - eye-catching, dead-on accurate in image of woman traveling, in every sense of the word, in a rural environment.
2. Title - Short and evocative = very good. Art - the rustic track and flipflops (as in opposite of urban background and stilettos), make it very clear this is not chicklit.This is the story of a thoughtful woman, taking her time to wind her way in whaterver direction the route may show. Well-done.
3. Title - Confuzzling until one reads the story and realizes that it is a compulsion the protagonist seems to feel all his life. Art - water and dogs are a constant background presence, so the images are accurate, but they convey the impression that the story is primarily about the relationship between people and dogs. Or dogs and dogs, for that matter, neither of which is accurate. Could have been done better.

Thoughts
1. Apprentice Writer kept encountering rabid enthusiasm for this author's work, and decided to give the debut a go. She almost stopped reading relatively early on due to some extreme and puzzling flashback behavior on the part of the heroine, but stuck with it - and was richly rewarded. What a wonderful, complex, sometimes-stark-yet-sometimes-funny story. The heroine, Lena, had a tremendously rough early childhood. Her mother was always on the fragile side emotionally, but when her husband dies of cancer she unravels completely, giving herself over to depression and pill addiction with the consequence of extreme emotional and physical neglect of her daughter. Her Aunt Florence is described as 'roaring' into town to rescue them despite her own recent tragedy of losing a son, and 'roaring' is pretty much how Aunt Florence takes charge of everyone around her from that moment on, her common sense and bossiness literally saving Lena's life as well as her mother many times after. Lena the survivor, Florence the warrior farmwife, and Burr the sharp-witted but sweet-natured lawyer boyfriend were all wonderful, thoughtful, flawed yet appealing characters, slowing dancing closer and closer to the truth of what drove Lena away from her home for ten years. The unraveling secrets twist and turn in a way that made AW read ever faster.
Did this book do its job? HELL YES! Apprentice Writer closed this book with a profound sense of satisfaction at the story's well-roundedness and ending, thought about Lena, Burr and Aunt Florence for days, looks forward to glomming the author's backlist, and, for the first time in her life, longs to visit Alabama.

2. AW loves road trips, whether in real life, books, or movies. Add to that excellent basic device a heroine who has the guts and humor to summarize her situation with "I'm the Beirut of health!" after being nearly killed by kidney disease, and who decides to escape her overprotective older brother to get in her car and go where the whim takes her, and you have the ingredients for a great story. As the trip goes on and she acquires travelmates, the life questions she tries to seek resolution on escalate from near-universal (looking up a former boyfriend to see how he's doing without me and if there's still a spark) to rare and heartbreaking (one last bid to find the mother who abandoned her in childhood). The story is unpredictable and the ending refreshingly non-Hollywood.
Did this book do its job? YES! This was a lovely, thoughtful, appealing story of a young woman who gets a raw deal and responds to all of it with poise, grace, and smarts. AW will eagerly look forward to the author's next title.

3. This book was an impulse choice when AW walked by a display table that proclaimed "The World Needs More Canada!" and offered all Canadian authors. AW could only agree, and the quirkiness of the title and backcover blurb convinced her.
Evaluating the novel itself was a bit perplexing. On the one hand, the author is wickedly good at unique simile and metaphor construction. AW's copy is dogeared with pages she wants to return to for additions to her quote collection. On the other hand, it was often difficult for this reader to understand how different scenes or chapters built on each other. It was also frustraing how the protagonist, and several secondary characters seemed to remain much as they were from the start, with negligible development.
Did this book do its job? Qualified yes. Though AW would have liked more clarity by the end of the story, the author's amazing talent with deft description will make this reader sift future titles for all the shining turns of phrase embedded within.

Soundbites
1.(Lena calls home after a delay on the road: "Hey, Aunt Flo -"
"Are you all right?"
"Yes, I'm-"
"Are you hurt?"
"No, we're fine, but-"
"Hold, please," Aunt Flo said. I heard the clatter of the receiver being dropped on the counter on her end...
"Gladys? It's your daughter. she must be calling you to tell you she is dead and in hell and to ask you to dip your finger in the water and cool her tongue, as she is tormented in flames. Surely she is dead and in hell, because nothing else would explain her not showing up and not even calling you, her own mama, to keep you from pulling out all your hair with worry. I am so sorry she is dead and in hell, but at least they have phones there."

"Married," said Florence in a dire, deep voice."You got married. Well. Thank you so, so much for calling to tell me this...Anything else you want to tell me? Is your new husband that your family has never met an ex-convict, for example? Or are you just knocked up?"
"...I'm not pregnant, and he's not a convict. I told you, he's a lawyer. but I guess I should tell you he's black."
Finally she said, "What do you mean, he's black? You mean he himself is black? A black man?"
"Yes. by black, I mean he is black."
"I am hanging up now Arlene. I will take this up with you and your secret black husband when you arrive."

2. "...the San Rafael Desert..(makes) my soul sit up and rub her eyes: vast, empty plains stretching for miles back to rugged cliffs and brick-colored buttes, sagebrush and grasses eking out a thirsty existence in the ditches, gregarious sky overwhelming in its blue clarity. The road unspools before us, endless white lines running together into an albino snake."

"You know how people always seem to see the Virgin Mary in a burrito, or in a stain on an underpass highway?..Ned and Cassie have collected numerous objects that have a) been spiritually imprinted with a visage from beyond, b) fallen into a puddle, or c) been crushed by a portly ass at some point in history. These curiosities, shelved helter-skelter in the tiny shop, include items like a bath mat with a Joan of Arc-shaped stain and a piece of driftwood allegedly in the shape of Ganesha (if you held it at arms length and squinted while running at high speed)."

"...I wouldn't (do that) even if you paid me with money still warm from George Clooney's front pocket"

3. "(The estate) was famous for its heritage rose gardens...leave it to (my grandfather) to take a thing of beauty and turn it into a military operation. To this day, the rose is my least favorite flower - I think of it as a scented hand grenade..."

"(Your grandmother) was skinny and mad, a veritable vibrating hairpin."

"It was clear to me (my political activist mother's) real purpose in attending (the party) was to meet Robert Redford, which isn't to say that her entrance wasn't any less reminiscent of a Bolshevik charging the palace on foaming horseback...(I watched) in dismay as she chased down a prominent CEO, running him through with her verbal pitchfork. Before the night was over, just about everyone in the place had sprung leaks..."

Recommended for
1. Fans of skilled, multi-layered writing, memorable characters, stories of family and couple dynamics.
2. Fans of road trip stories, friendship and sibling dynamics, non-formulaic endings.
3. Fans of superb characterization, one-liners, readers with a high tolerance for non-linear progression and ambiguous endings.

Learn more
1. Joshilyn Jackson. Also maintains a funny blog. Latest: 'Backseat Saints'
2. Jess Riley. Also maintains an entertaining blog. Next work's title unknown.
3. Elizabeth Kelly - could not locate a website or blog. Next work's title unknown.

/m

Laughter Reviews - Keeper: FARM FATALE

2010-07-24T19:48:00.000-07:00

FARM FATALE: A Comedy of Country Manors
Wendy Holden
Comedy
Sourcebooks, 2010 (reissue)

Premise: Disillusioned Londoner seeks professional and romantic renewal through relocation to British countryside.

Cover: Title - Alliterative = win, funny = even winnier, plays on previous Holden title 'Fame Fatale' = winningest; the British title for the same book, 'Pastures Nouveaux', was good also, but Apprentice Writer must confess that she likes this better.
Art - gorgeous, saturated color and black silhouettes, perfectly complements cover art for previous title 'Beautiful People'; Apprentice Writer suspects that once Sourcebooks has completed its current run of Holden titles, the results would look spectacular popped into one of those big, multi-cutout picture frames that display half a dozen images at once.

What Works: This may possibly be AW's favorite Holden title of all. There is a perfect balance between empathy with the female protagonist character and amused disbelief with the female antagonist character. The secondary characters run the gamut of what the reader (at least, this one) would like to see in a British set story: glam urbanite, nosy neighbor, farmer, rock star, and AW's favorite: Bond girl. What's not to like? Not to mention the setting; AW adores HGTV-type shows that follow prospective home buyers poking around all sorts of villages and period cottages on the search for a rural retreat. This novel takes that longing, and looks at the unattractive (but very funny) underbelly of what that means in the real estate market. So as the reader can well predict, the heroine's dreams of an idyllic country cottage don't quite pan out. Equal in the non-panning-out department are the anti-heroine's dreams of an ostentatious country estate. The contrasts, and what the two women do about it, keep the reader entertained to the end and provide the basis for the apt subtitle 'A Comedy of Country Manors' (itself a clever play on words).

What Doesn't: Can't think of anything.

Overall: A classic Holden comedy of satiric contrasts that merrily mocks some behaviors and stereotypes even as it incites mad fantasies of leaping onto trans-Atlantic flights to seek out one's own charming English village filled with traditional as well as cutting-edge eccentrics.

But does it make you laugh? Yes, yes, yes!

Lady Avon! Ghost envy! A heart attack that somehow manages to be entertaining even though it really isn't! Just deserts for social snobs! Just a few of the entertaining bits that await. Gentle Reader: go forth and enjoy. And then please come back to say if AW promised too much or just enough!

Learn more about the author here.

Health Promotion: WEDDINGS

2010-07-14T12:32:00.000-07:00

Apprentice Writer & Family are in the midst of preparing for an influx of guests, arriving from all over for a family wedding.

The Bride & Groom (NOT Gride & Broom, as some have waggishly suggested) have planned all in such detail that the following situations would dare not happen:
PROPOSAL FAIL
PERSONAL SPACE FAIL
LICENCE PLACE FAIL
FIDELITY FAIL

Today's laughter (ergo: health) promoting images from: wedinator.com

Lightning Reviews: MULTI-GENRE CONTEMPORARY

2010-07-09T18:36:00.000-07:00

Time for some more lightning reviews, contemporary division!

The Girls, by Lori Lansens
Literary Fiction, 2005 (reprinted 2009)
Cover: Attractive lilac shade, mysterious female face, it is only after reading the blurb and realizing that the story is about conjoined twins, forever bound to each other at the skull, that one realizes how apt the cover is, showing as it does two women attached but looking in opposite directions as do the protagonists (if you look at the front and back covers simultaneously). Simple but brilliant.
Content: Apprentice Writer absolutely loved this novel of conjoined sisters alternately telling the story of their life after learning one has a medical condition which will ultimately kill them both. The sisters' never-ending challenge and paradox is to do everything as one, but still be considered two separate individuals. Their voices are so distinct from one another that AW never mistook whose 'turn' to speak it was, despite annoyingly similar names bestowed upon them. The story explores such obvious themes as identity and definition of normalcy, but also feminitiy, boundaries of romantic and non-romantic love, exploitation, and what happens when biology (as opposed to social circumstance) forces one's sibling to also be take on a parent/child role.
Recommended for: Everyone. No matter how many books AW reads this year, 'The Girls' will be in her top five. She won it from Goodreads First Reads program, and immediately foisted it on her bookclub. It generated a tremendous amount of discussion and lingered long in the club's collective consciousness.

Made to be Broken, by Kelly Armstrong
Thriller, 2009
Cover: Moody red & black colors, graphic look, gun central = gives an accurate picture of what to expect, but not particularly unique or eyecatching. More signficant, perhaps, is the fact that the author's name is not only equal in size to the title but tops it: this author's has had runaway success in the paranormal and YA genres, and now appears to be crossing over into another with this suspenseful tale.
Content: AW wanted to get a taste of this very popular author's style, but could not warm up to her most well-known wolfian shapeshifter story, 'Bitten', praised though it is by many. So she picked up the second book in the Nadia Stafford series, about a female assassin for hire who runs an inn in rural Ontario when she isn't assassinating. And despite some sad-to-the-point-of-disturbing subject matter (murdered mother and stolen baby), the author's style lets the reader fly right along in the story. The protagonist's moral dilemmas and personal choices were convincing, her quandary of choice between two colleagues (and likewise, men) kept AW interested.
Recommended for: Fans of suspense, readers who like the author's work in other genres.

Curse of the Spellmans, by Lisa Lutz
(Spellman Files Book#2) Mystery, 2008
Cover: Indubitably eye-catching (ha!) due to rainbow color scheme, and the optics everywhere do make sense for the story, but the overall effect is muppet-like and could be done better.
Content: AW enjoyed Book#1 in this private investigator family series tremendously, and Book #2 even more so. To call it 'quirky' is like saying FIFA World Cup stadium audience members enjoy soccer - much too pale a word to capture the true essence of what's going on here. Isabelle Spellman's innate personality and unusual upbringing/training in private investigator tactics combine to produce a heroine who is without question odd and even dysfunctional in some ways, yet irrepressible and enormously appealing in her dogged attempts to do the right thing, regardless of whether the person she's doing it for or to wants that. She, her younger sister, and both parents are absolute masters of making the most jaw-dropping actions and statements seem perfectly reasonable.

As to AW's standard question, 'But does it make you laugh?'
Better believe it. Take a look:

A new neighbor has just witnessed Isabel exiting her parents' home from an upper window rather than a door. This does not st0p him from inviting her to breakfast. Bear in mind: the following is supposed to be their first DATE:
"As Subject beat eggs...I explained that I don't quite understand the big deal about doors. I casually mentioned my (window habit) as a throwback to my rebellious youth, but also as a rejection of the absoluteness of doors being the only socially acceptable mode of entry and exit. I'm not sure I convinced Subject to give windows a try himself. He stared at me a second too long and said, 'Well that's another way to look at it.'

Over breakfast Subject and I attempted to get each other's vital statistics.
'So what do you do?' I asked.
'I run a landscaping business.'
'Oh, that explains the gardening.'
'Does gardening need explaining?'
'I think so.'
'And you?'
'I haven't gardened in years. Thirty, to be exact.'
'You should try it sometime. Some people find it relaxing.'
'What kind of people?'
'I'm changing the subject,' Subject said."

'When you witness your mother vandalizing a motorbike for no apparent reason, there aren't a whole lot of people you can discuss it with.'

Someone is copycatting a series of creative vandalistic acts Isabel perpretrated (but never admitted to) as a teenager on a neighbor's outdoor holiday displays. Isabel is hired to solve the current case and begins by interviewing those who knew about it, starting with her dad, a former police officer.
"The transcript reads as follows:
Isabel: 'Do you recall the string of adjustments to Mrs. Chandler's life-size tableaux during the 1992-93 school year?'
Albert: 'Adjustments. Nice word choice.'
I: 'Please answer the question.'
A: 'Yes, I do recall the adjustments.'
I:....'Do you recall telling anyone about them.'
A: 'I do.
I: 'Approximately how many people?'
A: 'Has to be at least forty or fifty.'
I.'Are you out of your mind? Didn't you have anything else to talk about?'
A: 'Excuse me, Isabel, but I was getting tired of listening to my colleagues rave about their daughters' straight A's or swim team victories, science fair ribbons and Ivy League educations. These were the only bragging rights I had on you and I enjoyed it. I didn't relish you being a vandal, but the 'adjustments', as you call them, were downright brilliant. If only you had channelled that energy into something useful.'
I.: 'I have no idea what you're talking about.'
A.: 'Give me a break.'

Isabel's hardworking parents try taking a vacation, and send separate emails home to their daughters:
"Subject: Cruise Ship Dispatch #1
This is like a floating prison. Sometimes I just want to throw myself overboard so I can have some more space. I can't see the appeal. Plus, your mom's sick as a dog, so I have to roam the decks alone. Everyone on board has been drugged with some awful substance that makes them smile constantly. Crew members are always asking me if they can help me with anything. I'm walking down a hallway, and they ask if I need assistance. With what? I hope you both are behaving yourselves. I'll know if you're not. Dad.

Subject: Greetings from Hell
After two days of eating saltines, I finally made it out of the cabin, which is about the size of our Audi. In defense of my cabin, however, no-one inside it wears a thong.'

Recommended for: Fans of unusual, unpredictable heroines, readers who enjoy unique secondary characters and don't need a fulfilled love affair every book, anyone who likes their humor dry and quirky. AW can't wait to see what happens in Book #3, 'The Spellmans Strike Back', and can't decide at this moment if she likes Isabel's tween sister Rae or the superlative Flavia de Luce of 'The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie'. Tough choice, which calls for immediate reading of next books to decide.

Happy Canada Day!

2010-06-30T21:01:00.000-07:00

July 1 is the day we Canadians celebrate the Maple Leaf and all it signifies.

Apprentice Writer will enjoy BBQ and fireworks with Mr. Apprentice Writer and all the junior writers, cut off from the interwebs for an extended long weekend at the lake.

For your viewing pleasure, some splendid exemplars of that quintessentially Canadian beast, the proud and noble (as the classic beer commercial says) Beaver.

Lightning Reviews: FARFLUNG HISTORY

2010-06-27T12:11:00.000-07:00

Today, a trio of rapid reviews of farflung historical romantic adventure, from a trio of authors for whom these are second-ever releases, and whose covers all subscribe to the philosophy:

"Torsos essential, faces irrelevant!"

ROMANCING THE PIRATE
Michelle Beattie, 2009

Cover: Great title, luscious color, pose straight out of the final scenes of 'Pirates of the Caribbean 3' - this is one enticing cover, sure to draw in readers who pass by in the store.
Content: Besides hero and heroine finding their way to one another, the story has added layers of lost identity and pursuit of missing family members on top of battles on the high seas. Apprentice Writer enjoyed the dramatic tension, and loved it that the heroine strove for independence rather than waiting around for a man to 'save' her when the chips were down. It was disappointing, though, that after the heroine was introduced with the intrepid profession of blacksmith, so little was done with it. When she boards the hero's ship, for example, there is zero mention of her showing any interest in the weapons and ironware on board - despite the interest a regular passenger on a vessel with a high probability of being attached by pirates could be expected to show - let alone someone who assesses quality of same for a living.

Characters from the author's first title appear, but this second book can be read as a standalone and Apprentice Writer had no problem following along.
Recommended for: Fans of historical romance, POTC devotees, and armchair Caribbean travellers
Author Info: http://www.michellebeattie.com (no info found on upcoming release)

REVEALED
Kate Noble, 2009
Cover: Title a nice follow-up to debut book's 'Compromised', art with very nice color and movement.
Content: AW loved the author's writing style in 'Compromised', and 'Revealed' follows suit. It was all shaping up beautifully - hero and heroine antagonize each other at first, he is NOT socially powerful and well regarded, there is an intriguing, maladjusted brother whom AW very much hopes represents sequel bait, and an excellent bit about a social rival who has unanticipated depths and complexity - so much so that this looked to be a 5/5 star read. The final grade wobbled a little for three reasons: a) there is an episode of 'accent speak' with the particularly unfortunate addition of making one of the words the foreign language speaker utters in his own tongue during an English sentence a ludicrously simple one ('very') which he would have known how to say in English with 100% guarantee, b) suspension of disbelief was shot to hell (that is a pun, for those who know the story) half way through in terms of how a key development took place, and c) when the wronged hero is vindicated, the character doing the 'mea culpa' speech chooses to say it not only in public (which should be utterly out of character with his profession) but in a street in outside a burning building while people and key evidence are trapped inside and chaos is going on (which should be utterly out of character with common sense).

Still: there was enough here, in unusual elements told in an engaging way, for AW to very much look forward to the author's most recent release, 'The Summer of You' , just arrived in stores.
Recommended for: Fans of historical and/or espionage stories, Julia Quinn-like writing, and London season/country houseparty tales.
Author Info: http://www.katenoble.com

HIGHLAND REBEL Judith James, 2009

Cover: Title - Hard to tell if refers to hero or heroine. In AW's humble opinion, the word 'highland' appears in way, way too many titles to signal 'New and fresh story!'. Art - AW will concede that the sky being either of a sunset or burning nature is eye catching, and that the nekkid chestal area is in small mercies framed by some degree of shirt. But oh, what a tremendous, cliche-generic letdown this cover is after the high-impact splendour that was the author's first, 'Broken Wing'!
Content: There is an oft-repeated bit of writing advice that hero and heroine of a story should have diametrically opposed motivations and goals, so as to create dramatic tension. Boy howdy, is this ever the case here. The protagonists are from such different backgrounds, with such different short- and longterm aims in life, that the reader wonders early and often how they will ever manage to reconcile all the forces tearing at them. Those forces themselves almost form a character of their own - AW was very interested to learn of all the real-life historical figures and events which the author wove so skillfully in, and marvelled at the quick wits it took to retain fortune and titles (sometimes, even one's mere neck) in an era when monarchs succeeded one another in revolving door fashion, with courtiers falling in and out of favor between breakfast and lunch.

Though both excelled in painting memorable characters and depicting sincere emotion, this second title felt very different from the author's first. The third, 'Libertine's Kiss', is scheduled for upcoming release, and AW suspects it will continue to show this author's remarkable versatility.
Recommended for: Fans of straight historical fiction as well as historical romance, afficionados of stories set in Scotland or Ireland.
Author Info:http://www.judithjamesauthor.com/ (Does not seem to have been updated recently; AW wonders if there is some fluctuation going on. First book was published by Medallion Press, second by Sourcebooks, a quick check on Amazon shows a beautiful cover for 'Libertine's Kiss' with a Harlequin logo attached. What's up?)

Non-Book Reviews: COMEDIC ACTORS IN DRAMA

2010-06-24T08:40:00.000-07:00

MY ONE AND ONLY
2009

MY SISTER'S KEEPER
2009

It has been observed more than once that awards shows are very happy to make use of people with comedic talents to host the ceremonies, but not so happy to actually include stellar comedic performances among those worthy of the industry's highest awards. The prevailing explanation being that for some reason, people who are good at producing laughter aren't pulling off as difficult or meaningful a feat as people who are good at producing tears.

The Gentle Reader can guess what Apprentice Writer thinks of that.

Yes. Exactly.

Yet it has struck her more than once what gutwrenching dramatic performances comedic actors are capable of (grammar police: yes, yes, that participle is dangling. Let it have some fun already.)

In AW's view, Jim Carrey's finest performance was as the bewildered Everyman, ignorant of his celebrity status in 'The Truman Show'.

Will Ferrell's best was as the obsessive-compulsive bureaucrat grappling with parallel realities in 'Stranger Than Fiction'.

Bravo to those casting directors who saw dramatic potential in those actors, and those casting directors who added a pair of female comics to the list.

Renee Zellweger, of everlasting (and well-deserved) Bridget Jones fame, gave a lovely, poignant performance as a mother determined to find a new father for her sons in 'My One and Only'. After the utterly forgettable 'New in Town' (and it pains AW to say that, given her deep love for Harry Connick Jr.), it was a welcome change to see Ms. Zellweger in the role of a mature character, dealing with adult situations and emotions, rather than yet another twenty-something bumbler. She does that very well, but enough already.

She plays a woman in the '50's who decides she simply won't tolerate her husband's philandering any more, takes one suitcase and her teenaged sons, and leaves - without any marketable skills or support system. She is given many male characters with whom to interact and in an interesting and effective move, the well-known ones act against type. But not for a single moment does the viewer lose track of the fact that this is a film about the female lead. The ending has a nice little twist that takes the story out of fiction and into biography.

And in further proof of Ms. Zellweger's ripeness for understated performance, the best lines in the whole film go not to her, but to one of the husband-candidate characters. His big fatherly-advice-giving scene to the teenaged narrator involves a recommendation to keep a sweater handy because understanding women is about temparature control: they are always too hot or too cold. If you can fix that, you're all set.

Joan Cusack is a marvellous comic actor who has made a career of playing the quirky sidekick or best friend. AW's favorite is the fabulous 'Grosse Point Blank' where she plays executive assistant to her equally fabulous brother John Cusack's assassin for hire character. For some unfathomable reason she has not had a big break playing a lead herself, but it is wonderful to see her now being considered for dramatic parts.

AW has never read any Jodi Picoult books, which are extremely popular among general fiction readers, but have a reputation of being emotionally manipulative (according to some readers). AW was unsure what to expect going in, given the heart-rending subject matter (childhood cancer) and how her like of Abigail Breslin balanced out her dislike of Cameron Diaz. In the end, neither Breslin nor Diaz made much impression despite being the main characters - the magic Breslin had in 'Little Miss Sunshine' seems to have rubbed off, and Diaz was as painfully unconvincing as ever.

It was the secondary characters who stole the show: Jason Patric as the stoic, hypo-verbal firefighter in the impossible situation of having to choose which of his children needs a father most at any given time, and having to choose when to be a parent and when to be a spouse. Evan Ellingson as the attention-deprived, learning disabled son. Sofia Vassilyeva as the terminally ill teen, whose performance was so convincing AW wondered if she had personal experience with life-threatening conditions. And most of all, Joan Cusack, in the small but pivotal role of judge tasked with determining whether to grant an eleven-year-old medical emancipation. AW believed every word, every facial expression, and thought this performance (with those of the other secondary characters) made the movie worth watching despite a twist the viewer can see miles away and a tediously pat ending.

Hooray for actors who prove that far from being shallow, talent in comedy springs from a deep understanding of the painful challenges of life!

Gentle Reader- seen either of these movies? What did you think? Should AW read a Jodi Picoult book?

/m

Anatomy of DNF

2010-06-21T07:10:00.000-07:00

Apprentice Writer continues her dissection of what makes a book unfinishable for her.

The latest premature goodbye was bid to a contemporary romance, the second book of an author who maintains a smart and likable online presence, and whose books received a lot of buzz and very healthy publicity push. AW didn't attempt the first, partially due to hating the cover and partially due to lukewarm reviews, but the second cover looked good and the premise was promising.

Why did she stop?

1. Three uses of the word 'sardonic' in the first dozen pages
= author not living up to job requirement to impress with deft vocabulary.

2. Multiple references in same amount of space to how good-looking the hero is
= we get it already.

3. One paragraph about the heroine's notice of the hero's eyes, followed immediately by another paragraph on same
= proof of line editors being sacrificed to budget cuts in publishing houses?

4. The coup de grace: it is small-town girl heroine's first night in New York City, where she knows nothing and no-one but a colleague she met just that day who has brought her to a bar, where they soon become separated. She meets the hero, and without knowing ANYTHING about him (even his name) she agrees to go home with him - without even having the courtesy to inform her colleague that she's leaving, simply instructing the bartender to pass on the message
= in AW's world, this is not the bartender's job, and this is truly a TSTL heroine. AW will forgive many character flaws, but not stupidity on such astronomical level.

And that is how this book became a wallbanger.

Gentle Reader, was AW too harsh? Justified? What led to your latest DNF?

Health Promotion

2010-06-14T18:44:00.000-07:00

Laughter boosts the immune system.

Apprentice Writer has spent far too much of her precious time lately chasing down an evening bag to go with her gown and shoes for an upcoming family wedding.

She will leave it to the Gentle Reader to deduce how she feels about the whole subject, courtesy of
www.wedinator.com

Twin Reviews: ALTERNATE WORLD SLEUTHS

2010-06-10T07:45:00.000-07:00

CHANGELESS (Parasol Protectorate Book #2) by Gail Carriger Steampunk Paranormal 2010

A LOCAL HABITATION (October Daye Book #2) by Seanan McGuire Urban Fantasy 2010

Premise
1. In a Victorian Britain where supernaturals are integrated into society and government makes use of superhuman gifts, preternatural Lady Maccon investigates a baffling outbreak of forced mortality among vampires, werewolves, and ghosts.

2. Half human, half fae Toby Daye travels to a politically disputed Fairie duchy and becomes embroiled in serial murder investigation.

Cover
1. Title: perfect twin to Book#1's 'Soulless' and bullseye hit on content. Art: The good - dirigible in stormy weather, blue toned banner script, top hot and 'glassicals' (as eyewear is called). The not quite as good - in contrast to Book#1 where heroine's parasol and pose were jaunty and intriguing, here she looks stiff and unnatural, with odd facial expression and overplucked eyebrows. Hopefully Book#3 will return to an edgy profile. Overall: would make AW stop in a bookstore for a closer look.

2. Title: becomes clear late in the story why this is relevant to content; personally, AW would have preferred another botanical title similar to the unusual and memorable Book#1 title (Rosemary and Rue). Art: menacing figure is 100% false advertising, Toby's grumpy, pinched and hungry looking appearance 100% accurate. Overall: AW would walk right by in a bookstore.

What Works
1. As was the case in Book#1, this sequel is rollicking good fun. Stuffy, rigid etiquette coupled with antiquated, persnickety language in absurd contrast with the extraordinary characters, events and at times action-adventure feel make for much entertainment. Language is also noteworthy in other respects; this author rises to the heights of J.K. Rowling in terms of amusing names (servants Floote and Rumpet, business Shersky & Droop) and she has a way with vivid description:

"Lady Maccon declined with horror. Brussels sprouts were nothing more than underdeveloped cabbages."

"The handle (of the parasol) looked like something that might top an ancient Egyptian column, carved with lotus flowers - or a very enthusiastic pineapple."

"...she pulled out a small vial. 'Poison?' 'Certainly not. Something far more important: perfume. We cannot very well have you fighting crime unscented, now, can we?' 'Oh.' Alexia nodded gravely. After all, Madame Lafoux was French. 'Certainly not.' "

"This was the kind of woman who took her tea black, smoked cigars after midnight, played a mean game of cribbage, and kept a bevy of repulsive little dogs. Alexia liked her immediately. The woman shouldered a rifle with consummate skill and pointed it at Lord Macon. Alexia liked her less."

"The color scheme and general appearance (of the bedroom) reminded Lady Maccon of nothing so much as a damp, malcontented squirrel."

In their review of Book#1, Apprentice Writer's esteemed colleagues The Booksmugglers were dismayed on two levels; that one dirigible mention did not a steampunk novel make (if AW understood correctly), and that Alexia and Connall were too close in physical similarity to another literary Victorian couple, Amelia Peabody & Radcliffe Emerson (of Elizabeth Peters' superb Egyptian historical suspense series). As premier reviewers of speculative fiction, the Booksmugglers are much more knowledgable than AW about that oh-so-difficult-to-define beast, 'Steampunk' . Perhaps this was a good thing, as AW had no purist qualms about the novel's classification. But for those who read for the gadgetry, AW is pleased to say that there is much more present, applied, and sometimes copiously explained in 'Changeless'. The gadgets were all very cool and AW loved how Alexia became engrossed in how they all worked.

In terms of Alexia/Connall vs. Amelia/Emerson - if the Smugglers had not pointed it out, AW is not sure she would have spotted the potential for comparison in 'Soulless'. But with introduction of an Egyptological element and Alexia's use of a custom parasol in the way Amelia uses her many-pocketed acrchaeological clothes, it is impossible not to see this supernatural couple as an homage to Peters' iconic sleuths. AW had no problem with it, except for one detail (see below).

2. As in Book#1, the worldbuilding and diversity of fae subcultures and abilities was excellent - highly imaginative and convincing. By far the most compelling characteristic of this series.

The author also has a way with one-liners:

"I was under the impression that things were stable. That could change at any time, of course, and there's always a risk of small-scale civil war in Faerie - it's something to do when you're bored and immortal."

"....'You even scare the landscape.' 'It probably remembers us from yesterday and doesn't want to be enchanted again. The inanimate can have a surprisingly long memory.' "

"...We could probably have done without our (human) disguises...(if) the desk clerk saw us undisguised, he'd think he was looking at a kid playing Star Trek games and a giant Tinkerbell knockoff with PMS."

"...sometimes the best way to deal with the Luidaeg (was to) just keep saying the same thing over and over until she gets fed up and gives you what you want. All preschoolers have an instinctive grasp of this concept , but most don't practice it on immoral water demons. That's probably why there are so few disembowelments in your average preschool."

AW's favorite character from Book#1 - Tybalt, King of the Cats - showed up again to her delight, but not enough to satisfy. Hopefully he'll have more presence in the next installment. AW liked him not only for himself, but because she got a good laugh out of the inversion of the stereotype. One of the most cliche yet ongoingly, frequently used metaphors used in romance novels of all persuasions is to liken the hero's graceful/muscular/silent/deadly/(insert adjective) movement and/or appearance to that of a big cat. It struck AW as funny to have a character flat out be one.

What Doesn't
1. One of AW's most pet of all peeves is for dialogue of characters whose first language is not English to be written 'in accent'. Her reasons:
- puzzling out what they're saying rips her out of the story,
- it is NEVER successful, as AW has never heard French/German/Italian/etc. people speak precisely in the cliched manner accepted for those language groups,
- it is lazy, because a person speaking English as a second language usually doesn't just pronounce words differently but uses different sentence structure and conventions as well, and more often than not this isn't reflected in their literary speech when the 'shortcut' of abysmal accent cliches are applied,
- the ONLY reason that AW can come up with for an author to choose to have a character speak in language accent cliche is to make that character look slightly ridiculous, and/or to have a recurring opportunity to emphasize their 'differentness' from the protagonist. The underlying motivation for both potential reasons have an ugly xenophobic feel to this reader. No matter how good the book, inclusion of accent-speak automatically lowers AW's Goodreads grade by at least half a star, even if the non-accent-speaking characters are, for the purposes of the story, xenophobic.

How to handle a non-native speaker character instead, then, the Gentle Reader may ask?
Simple: The first time the character is introduced, describe him or her as having a (insert language) accent, and then either remark that the character's sentence structure otherwise follows English patterns, or else write the characters subsequent dialogue in the applicable sentence patterns. For an example done well, look at Joanna Bourne's 'The Spymaster's Lady'

//general rant over

It was AW's unpleasure to find accent speak not only for French, but with an occasional dollop of Scottish as well. In the case of the French characters, the icing on the cake was its complete redundancy since almost every (!) mention of the two characters involved included an explicit reference to their nationality. This endless repetition of defining attributes and adjectives occured in matters of dress, personality, and speech patterns as well (i.e. not just the speech pattern in natural dialogue [which is fine] but the protagonist remarking upon the particular speech pattern). It reached the point where this reader seriously asked herself if the author truly felt her audience had memory deficiency problems and needed to be 'helped' along like this. If it weren't or the at times intricate machinery explanations, this style would have felt too close to insulting reader intelligence for comfort.

Finally, there was a disconnect between the secret strategist role assigned to the heroine and her poor performance as a sleuth. Repeated assassination attempts are made with almost no effort made to investigate who would have had the means or motive and who could be excluded from suspicion, and went against the image built up of the heroine being unusually intelligent.

2. Toby, likewise, did not impress this reader with her sleuthing abilities this time around. She enters a closed community, and does not figure out what is going as bodies pile up left and right until there are a total of 3 of the original group left. Apprentice Writer thinks that even with her complete lack of detective ability, she would probably have been able to figure out the culprit once only that few remained. It was not a good reflection on the competence of someone designated a Knight and sent on the mission specifically due to supposed investigative skill.

But this reader believes there an extenuating circumstance, if somewhat dubious. The Gentle Reader who saw AW's review of Book#1 will recall her credulity being strained by Toby performing all kinds of physical feats (including bleeding vast quantities) while eating a total of two marshmallow sandwiches over the course of about three days. Toby's eating disorder appears even more pronounced this time around; though practically every page seems to mention her drinking coffee, her actual ingestion of food was, IIRC, one donut. If AW's total caloric intake over several days consisted of coffee and one donut, she' be grumpy and not her best at making logical deductions either.

Overall
Sequels to highly original debuts both show continued author skill at worldbuilding and deft turns of phrase, while leaving room to hope that protagonist sleuthing skill will rise with experience.

/m

Rantarooney: BLOGGERS

2010-06-07T10:57:00.001-07:00

Attention, Bloggers!

Everyone in cyberspace will be indebted to you for observing the following small behavioral modification:

DO NOT BEGIN YOUR POST WITH AN APOLOGY!

WE DO NOT CARE THAT YOU MEANT TO POST YESTERDAY / THIS MORNING / "MORE OFTEN", AND DIDN'T BECAUSE SOMETHING CAME UP / YOU WERE UNMOTIVATED / YOUR LEFT BIG TOE HURT.

IF WE STOP BY AND YOU HAVEN'T POSTED SINCE LAST TIME, GUESS WHAT: WE DEAL WITH IT.

WE WANT THOUGHT-PROVOKING, ENTERTAINING, RELEVANT CONTENT, NOT BORING EXCUSES. PLEASE DON'T WASTE OUR TIME.

Exceptionat Cases:
- When a blogger anticipates being away for a specific period of time (whether days/weeks/months) and shares what that time frame will be - in which case, apologies still aren't required as this information is shared upfront,
- When health/natural catastrophes strike - in which case, apologies still aren't required as a brief explanation (at whatever point is feasible for the blogger) will fully suffice as all readers will understand and sympathize,
-When there has been a extended unexplained absence and the blogger returns - in which case, apologies still aren't required (unless content had been promised and not delivered) as a simple "I'm back!" will do.

//rant over.

Health Promotion

2010-06-02T19:45:00.000-07:00

Laughter boosts the immune system. Have some health, courtesy of www.cakewrecks.com, on the occasion of soon-to-be graduates everywhere

Winners!

2010-06-01T16:42:00.000-07:00

With the able and impartial assistance of junior apprentice writer #3 (who is getting quite good at this with all the practice she's getting) the following winners were drawn:

Gwendolyn B

&

purpleg8r !

Confetti! Applause! Jubilation!

Winners, please send your deets to
mayamissani AT yahoo DOT ca

Non-winners, don't despair! Another giveaway will pop up sooner or later.

Quotes: THE GIRL WHO CHASED THE MOON

2010-05-28T13:19:00.000-07:00

THE GIRL WHO CHASED THE MOON
Sarah Addison Allen
Contemporary Fiction with Fantasy Elements
2010

Apprentice Writer posted recently on similes and metaphors that go awry. In such cases, the flow of the story is stopped while she re-reads to try and puzzle it out.

Sometimes, though, she stops to re-read for sheer beauty of what the author has created. Such was repeatedly the case with 'The Girl Who Chased the Moon' by new-to-her author Sarah Addison Allen. Here for your reading pleasure, some gems:

"(He) watched a whale of gray sky swallow the pink evening light."

"She always smelled like carnations from her florist shop when she came in from work. The scent ran ahead of her into the room, like an excited pet."

"I met up with Stella earlier (at the fair), but then her entourage got too big. Stella is like a comet collecting space debris as she passes."

"He was standing as still as stone, watching them with an expression made of ghosts and anger."

*heavy sigh of writerly envy*

Even better, the story as a whole is delightful - charming, natural, about real, recognizable characters in a small town. There is an element of light fantasy involved but it is an embellishmnt to the main story rather than the main plotpoint. With writing like this, TGWCTM will certainly not be AW's last Addison Allen title.

/m

Non-Laughter Review: UNCERTAIN MAGIC

2010-05-25T07:54:00.000-07:00

UNCERTAIN MAGIC
by Laura Kinsale
Historical Romance with Fantasy Elements
Sourcebooks, 2010

Premise: Shy British aristocrat with psychic talent enters marriage of convenience with impoverished Irish aristocrat of infamous reputation and politically risky friends.

Cover: Title - Admirably brief and descriptive of content, possible that it might not stand out among the plethora of titles including 'Magic' these days but that may be irrelevant given the amount of real estate devoted to author name relative to title. Clearly (and very understandably) this book is intended to sell on writerly reputation. Art - in a welcome change from nekkid anonymous manchest (as seems to adorn way too many bookcovers), an embracing couple with the man interested in the embrace and the woman multitasking. Embracing with her arms while either appraising the value of the distant twilit castle in her head, or else planning to put her barefoot status to good use by wading the adjecent river. Purple color, stormish sky and swirl of miniscule starbursts (which Apprentice Writer was very tempted to interpret as dandelion seeds) reflect the drama within. Overall - accurate and attractive but not especially memorable.

What Works: As with the previous two Kinsale novels AW has read, the aspect that stands out the most in this story is quality of writing; this is a much appreciated attribute to someone whose most recent DNF was due to the word 'sardonic' appearing three times in the first ten pages and a paragraph of breathless heroine admiration of the hero's eyes being followed by yet another paragraph of same.

UM has marvelous scene-setting, evocative details that intensified emotion without making it seem hyperbolic, natural-sounding dialogue. All serving to support the heart of the story: the description of how two very (with good reason) guarded personalities reach out to one another and develop their willingness to trust even when events seem to point to the wisdom of doing the opposite. Seeing them move past their preconceived notions and insecurities was a joy, and the scenes where each respectively chooses to stand by her man or his woman in the face of opposition were cathartic.

Inclusion of an unusual animal character has become something of a Kinsale trademark and UM is no exception. Given that the hero and heroine are brought together by mutual interest in horses it would not have been surprising if the special animal character were equine, but AW was delighted to find the recurring cameo role occupied by someone else: MacLasser, the redoubtable piglet. In her view, any author who can incorporate swine into everyday aristocratic life is worth reading.

Also unusual in a historical hero (at least those this reader has met) was Faelan's manner of dealing with stress. Rather than riding or boxing or drinking or playing cards or picking fights with blameless individuals, he plows fields, and doesn't give a damn when his friends tease him about his fascination with planting potatoes and oat crop rotation. AW found it endearing and a refreshing change.

What Doesn't
Writing manuals warn newbie writers against including too much backstory, and exhort them to 'show, don't tell'. In general, AW appreciates that this makes novels more readably streamlined, less clunky. In this case, she wished for a bit more explicit detail. She didn't really understand the motivation of a dubious friend character to take actions that could bring massive destruction on the heads of the local population. While the motivation for the initial destructive interference in the hero's life on the part of the villain was convincing, AW didn't understand why and how the villain engaged in subsequent acts of hero sabotage.

Finally, the heroine repeatedly and for good reason reflects on fears of rejection once her husband learns of her gift in reading the minds and emotions of people and animals around her. By the end of the story, it's clear that he accepts and loves her no matter what, but given the number of times her fear was articulated it left this reader feeling vaguely unsatisfied that the couple didn't actually talk about it.

These are the kinds of things that make AW wish the author could comment on, either to learn where hints were dropped that AW may have missed, or to understand the thinking behind the choices made. Thoughts, Gentle Reader?

Overall
A romantic tale of people overcoming personal, social, and political odds to be together and do the right thing in a time of turbulence. Recommended for fans of romance and light fantasy (i.e. the story has an occasional extraordinary embellishment rather than being primarily about magic and such).

/m.

Review & Giveaway: RUMOR HAS IT

2010-05-17T19:50:00.000-07:00

RUMOR HAS IT
by Jill Mansell
Humorous Women's Fiction
Sourcebooks, 2010 In Stores Now

Premise: Newly single young Londoner starts fresh in a small town where she soon learns that practically everyone is either subject or instigator of some form of rumor, forcing her (and all others) to choose whether to believe, refute, ignore, or repeat the pseudo-information.

Cover: Title - short and snappy, captures content. Art - bright, breezy, breath of fresh air all leap to mind. Though Apprentice Writer does not recall a single butterfly in the narrative, much less a herd of them, the feeling they and the nicely shod feet represent is accurate: upbeat tale of someone generally confident and young-at-heart. Altogether, an attractive, well-done cover.

What Works: In case AW has not mentioned it before - she is a bit of an armchairAnglophile. She adores her mental picture of picturesque villages, ancient buildings, overflowing flowerboxes, shopping in quaint little shops rather than big-box department stores, and ultra dry-witted joie de vivre (all gained from books and movies) so much she is actually a little afraid of making a real-life trip to the UK in case her preconceived notion is shattered.

AW is not proud of this head in the sand mentality, but it does explain how pleased she was to find this story reinforced her fantasy. It was her first Mansell novel. AW has no clue how this came to be given the entertainment value and long string of previous novels but now that she knows she intends to do something about that backlist.

She liked how the heroine responded to discovering that her live-in boyfriend had decided to dump her by moving out without a single word of warning. Instead of moping, she spontaneously decides to take a job as 'Girl Friday' in a small town where a friend lives. She moves in with single dad Max and his tween daughter Lou, to keep the house and Lou running on time while Max tends to his interior design business. This leads to occasional contact with the hero, a contractor, who responded to the accidental death of his fiance by becoming the town's much sought after Bachelor #1. Everyone, it seems, either warns the heroine off of him or sees her as a rival for his attention, causing a long-drawn-out process of her fighting her attraction to him which forms the main plot of the story.

But it was the subplots of the story that AW found most interesting (perhaps, because it was not possible to tell how they would end up). The shopowner harrassed by the ex-wife of her new romantic interest, the father shocked to realize that even though he is comfortable with the consequences of coming out of the closet, his child may not be, the actress buffeted by bad publicity. Max was AW's favorite character, for the way he interacted with everyone, and for the most poignant scene in the story; he figures out precisely what someone in a very difficult situation most needs to hear, and says it, regardless of how someone else thinks it is inappropriate.

What Doesn't: It is not hard to figure out why the heroine is attracted to the hero: good-looking, charming, successfully running his own business, kind to his still-grieving former in-laws, and the clincher: willing to put himself out for an animal that is neither attractive nor his. What's not to like? What wasn't so clear was what drew him to the heroine. They spend little time alone together and so don't have a chance to get to know and appreciate one another in a natural or relaxed way. Due to caution at first and misunderstanding later on, the heroine is goes from being standoffish to judgemental, unappreciative, and at times downright rude. His tolerance of all this was most puzzling, given that he had next to no fond memories of good times together between them to fall back on.

The resolution of the burned-by-false-publicity actress subplot also felt AW feeling ambivalent. On the one hand, the character is a sympathetic one and so the reader is pleased when she ends on a positive note in her personal life. But since this is a contemporary story rather than a historical one, AW very much wished...

MILD SPOILER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

....that the decision she made regarding her professional life could somehow have felt more like a contemporary solution rather than the more traditional "I'll let my man worry about making the money" view.

END SPOILER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Overall: The current crop of online reviews for this title contain intriguing fodder for the question 'What is chicklit, and is it dead?', with opinions ranging from RHI being a classic example of the best the subgenre has to offer, to reviewers liking RHI 'despite' it being chicklit, to referring to it as romantic comedy because calling it chicklit would be 'almost insulting'. The Gentle Reader will not be surprised that AW has an opinion. Or four.

1. 'Rumor Has It' does fall under the chicklit umbrella.
Ticks on the checklist include:
stylish shoes on cover (with all that implies),
cartoon-drawing cover (ditto),
young, single, urban, female protagonist (who we know will NOT be single by 'The End')
multiple mentions of fashion brand names,
protagonist is very tight with friend(s) and distant with family,
there is a booze-influenced plot development.

2. Falling under the chicklit umbrella is not a negative thing.
Apprentice Writer is extremely fond of well-done chicklit. It was a Brit invention, and therefore no big surprise that the Brits, in her humble opinion, still do it best. The problem is that this subgenre, perhaps more so than others, has unfortunately come to be associated not so much with the examples of the well-executed variety, but with the flood of bandwagon-jumper-oners that seemed to be all pink covers and dim, materialistic stereotypes, so that its fans (much like romance aficionados) seem compelled to offer excuses to avoid negative judgment from readers who think of themselves as somehow loftier. Having said that,

3. Classic chicklit is an increasingly rare beast in the current publishing climate.
Hence AW's description of RHI at the top of the post as 'humorous women's fiction'. Hence also AW's kudos to Sourcebooks for continuing to provide these kinds of titles for the public when, for example, behemoth Harlequin discontinued its Red Dress Ink line.

4. RHI also falls under the women's fiction umbrella.
Ticks on the checklist include:
third- rather than first-person voice,
ensemble cast,
exploration of some decidedly non-shallow topics, including serious illness and homophobia. This story is not all lipstick and cocktails.

But does it make you laugh? YES
In a wry, 'I know people just like that!' recognition kind of way.

Learn more about the author here.

GIVEAWAY!
Publisher Soucebooks has generously offered two copies for Apprentice Writer's readers. To win, comment on the review or answer the question:

"Have you ever been the subject of a rumor, and what did you do about it?"

The Fine Print:
1. U.S. and Canadian addresses only please, no P.O. boxes.
2. If your profile does not lead back to an active blog, please leave a non-spammable way to get in touch.
3. Bonus entry for recommending another Jill Mansell novel for AW's TBR pile and explaining why you chose that one.
4. Bonus entry for following, either here here on on Twitter (MayaWriter) and then telling me about it.
5. Contest closes 30 May 2010.

Good luck!

Page 1: Rumor Has It

2010-05-16T18:30:00.000-07:00

"How weird that you could push open your front door and know in an instant that something was wrong."

Come back tomorrow for Apprentice Writer's review & giveaway!