CRAFT: Finding the Funny

An article by Apprentice Writer recently published in "RomANTICS" (the newsletter of her writer's group) and containing some favorite quotes:

"FINDING THE FUNNY, PART I

Do humorous scenes, characters and dialogue simply flow from your keyboarding fingers whenever your manuscript needs them?

Me neither.

Those lightning bolts from the comedy muse are rare and unpredictable. In between, the funny often needs to be coaxed along. Sometimes, breaking the writing down can help locate hidden spots with potential for comic zing.

Micro Level: Words
The smallest writerly building blocks often offer an easy way to inject humor.

Names have unlimited possibilities:

Hallelujah Clegg (Janet Mullany, ‘The Rules of Gentility’)
Grimauld Place (J.K. Rowling, ‘Harry Potter’ series; refers to a grim old place)
Village of Toot (Laura Kinsale, ‘My Sweet Folly’)

Nouns can be systematically examined for switch from a regular-type one to a more amusing one. Rubber boots are funnier than shoes, camels are funnier than horses, a cactus is funnier than grass, and so on. The same logic applies to verbs, adjectives and adverbs:

“Freya’s voice, prematurely leathered from smoking, scratched its way through the line.” (Lani Diane Rich, ‘Crazy in Love’)

“The other man gave Vimes a smile of manic friendliness. (His) pullover had a queasy zigzag pattern in many strange, unhappy colors.”
(Terry Pratchett, ‘Thud!’)

Sometimes, it’s possible to poke gentle fun at specific time periods and the obscure vocabulary unique to each:

“Where is your friend?” “He is exploded.” “Was he the victim of a revolutionary outrage?” “No, I meant to say he was found out.”
(Oscar Wilde, ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’)

”The hero, a handsome, well-bred man, pursued the heroine, crushing his lips to hers in a hansom cab and rumpling her pelisse. The villain, equally well-bred, did just about the same thing, except that in addition he thrust his hand inside her fichu.” (Margaret Atwood, ‘Lady Oracle’)

At the most creative extreme, inventing a word can up the humor quotient:

“Gabe ran hell-bent-for-leather holding a panful of lasagna, intent upon a pastafarian act of self-sacrifice. Theo caught him, but eight pounds of steaming cheesy goodness sailed through the window, scorching the (attacking zombies) and pollocking the wall with red sauce. ‘That’s it, throw snacks at them!’ shouted Tuck. ‘Fire a salvo of garlic bread next!’ ”
(Christopher Moore, ‘The Stupidest Angel’)

Mid Level: Sentences and Paragraphs
Many frequently occurring sentence/paragraph types are good candidates for amusement.

Physical descriptions of people, places and things offer loads of opportunity:

“What he looked mostly like was the part of the rocket that gets jettisoned over the Indian Ocean, plus a black homburg.”
(Donald E. Westlake, ‘What’s So Funny?’)

“…after much panicked scanning of the Scottish mainland, (he) discovered the location of the wedding somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic. ‘I thought it was in Edinburgh!’ Seb roared. ‘It’s practically in Iceland,’ his stabbing finger a good quarter inch off the far northwest coast of Scotland. Anna stared at the island whose shape bore a startling resemblance to a hand making an uncomplimentary gesture with its middle finger.” (Wendy Holden, ‘Bad Heir Day’)

Units of measurement and timelines are great:

“(He’s) not a cop, Tiny. Not for seventeen months.” “I think the transition takes a little longer,” Tiny suggested. “Maybe three generations.”
(Donald E. Westlake, ‘What’s So Funny?’)

“7:15a.m. Hurrah! (Am) in functional relationship with adult male thereby proving not love pariah…Maybe Mark Darcy will wake up and talk to me about my opinions.
7:30a.m. Has not woken up. I know, will get up and make him fantastic breakfast with eggs Benedict or Florentine.
7:31a.m. Depending what eggs Benedict or Florentine actually are.”
(Helen Fielding, ‘Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason’)

Variations of well-known quotes can be effective:

“If you keep your head when all around you are losing theirs, it’s just possible you haven’t grasped the situation.” (Erma Bombeck; refers to Rudyard Kipling’s famous poem ending with “…then you’ll be a man, my son!”)

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman of fortune and passable good looks amuses herself in London with fashion, philanthropic works, and flirtation, until a suitable gentleman makes an offer.” (Janet Mullany, ‘The Rules of Gentility’; refers to Jane Austen’s ‘Pride &Prejudice’ opening lines)

Lists are wonderful because they can either start out reasonably and become increasingly silly, or can include one item that sticks out like a sore thumb:

“There were trolls in the Watch, plenty of dwarfs, one werewolf, three golems, an Igor and, not least, Corporal Nobbs (that was a bit of a slur on Nobby, [who] was human,[but] he was the only one who had to carry a certificate to prove it) so why not a vampire?”(Terry Pratchett, ‘Thud!’)

“No reprieve. In a world full of wars, famine and Bratz dolls, the angels or gods or whoever had bigger things than her to deal with.”
(Lani Diane Rich,‘Crazy in Love’)

Writers are often warned against inclusion of clichés. But clichés can work well in comedy, especially if given a twist:

“(The welcome party was) packed with people dressed in various interpretations of luau wear. Hawaiian shirts dominated, but there was also a healthy contingent of sarongs and one grass skirt. The guy in the grass skirt didn’t have the legs for it.” (Jennifer Crusie, ‘Manhunting’)

=======================

Part II will look at the macro-level of writing.
(Some quotes modified to fit article format)"

Any humor location techniques Gentle Readers may care to share?

Non Book Reviews

THE PAINTED VEIL
2007, directed by John Curran

Tagline
"Sometimes the greatest journey is the distance between two people."


Summary
On leave from his post as bacteriologist in 1920's Shanghai, Walter (Edward Norton) is drawn to the beautiful, spoiled Kitty (Naomi Watts), who accepts his almost immediate proposal so as to prevent her younger sister from marrying first. Having been bored in London, Kitty proceeds to be bored in Shanghai, and soon begins an affair with a local member of the diplomatic corps. Walter discovers her infidelity, and reacts to the blow by volunteering to travel inland to stem a chlorera outbreak and by offering Kitty a divorce on condition that her lover likewise divorces his wife and marries her. The lover refuses under the guise of not wishing to drag his innocent wife into the situation; Kitty has no choice but to accompany Walter into the eye of the storm.

Both are soon forced to consider much larger issues than their personal miseries. Familiar with disease only within a clinical research context via the safe and controllable barrier of a microscope, Walter is violently confronted with the unspeakably intense reality of human suffering that defines an epidemic. Initially thinking her biggest problems are living in the backwoods and learning that she is one of many fleeting female amusements for her lover, Kitty is confronted with the desperation of evergrowing numbers of orphans taken in at the convent when their parents fall victim to the outbreak.

Adding layers to the story are compelling secondary characters, including the Mother Superior (Diana Rigg) in charge of the convent and orphanage, the young doctor who must choose whether to side with British science (in the form of Walter's educated opinion of steps necessary to contain infection) or Chinese tradition (in the form of local customs regarding burial), a member of the diplomatic corps who has become a fixture in the area, and the highly educated General (Anthony Wong Chau Sang) who foresees the imminent death of the old ways yet bitterly resents a foreigner descending into his country to 'fix' its problems and presumably look down on its backwardness.

As the story moves its way through the dance Walter and Kitty go through discovering more about one another, it also highlights how few issues in life are truly black or white. Is a relationship between an older, influential British man and a young local woman necessarily exploitative? Is the good done by saving orphan children diminished by the expectation that they become Catholic in return? Is understandable feeling that a country should be in the power of its own citizens sufficient reason to reject outside expertise and allow local warlords and hazardous supersition to continue unchecked? And most of all: how can such a stunningly beautiful landscape contain such profound ugliness as epidemic disease?


Excerpt
"I think China should belong to Chinese. It seems most of the world disagrees with me."
"That doesn't concern me. I came here with a microscope, not a gun!"


Overall
Superbly acted, gorgeously filmed, with an excellent musical score, and telling an intensely dramatic story without melodrama, 'The Painted Veil' is a movie well worth the viewer's time.

Being a Mom Means....

In honor of the second Sunday in May (i.e. the day that pays the mortgage of florists, chocolatiers, and restauranteurs), some philosophy from '1001 Things it Means to be a Mom: the Good, the Bad, and the Smelly' by Harry H. Harrison Jr.

"Being a mom means suspecting that your happiness is totally dependent on the washing machine working."

"Being a mom means developing a strange fascination with refrigerator magnets."

"Being a mom means being absolutely certain about your parenting principles. Until you have kids."

Laughter Reviews #17 - KEEPER

Time for another review with the focus: funny or not?

THE SILVER PIGS
by Lindsey Davis
HISTORICAL SUSPENSE


Premise
Sleuth in ancient Rome is commissioned by the newest Caesar to investigate fraud and murder.

What Works
What a delight, stepping into the pages of this superbly entertaining novel. The story is meticulously researched and replete with descriptive (but never overdone) historical detail that makes the challenge of everyday survival in A.D. 70 seem to spring to three-dimensional life. The effect is only enhanced by having the highly irreverent hero tell the story in first person.

Marcus Didius Falco is a young man living in a seedy part of Rome during the rise of Emperor Vespasian. He completed his military service, but had the bad luck of being posted to Britain which was not only horribly cold and far away but underwent a native revolt, put down not by his legion but its successor. Consequently he must endure derision rather than basking in military glory as he tries to eke a living as a private eye. His art-dealer father abandoned the family years ago to live with a younger woman and his brother died a reckless hero's death in Palestine, making Falco the nominal head of the family. Falco grapples with resentment of these two male figures, while attempting to deal with the daily demands of his mother, sisters, brothers-in-law, landlady, pickpockets, gladiators, bureaucrats, clients, senators, slaves.....

Falco is a mass of contradictions. He gripes about family but lives in near desitution due to giving all his money to his mother and his late brother's girlfriend to support his brother's child. He praises the bachelor life but is always on hand to shepherd numerous nieces and nephews at family gatherings, public celebrations, and on trips. He contends with beggars and prostitutes but is multilingual and an amateur poet. He often plays the clown but is fast and tough in a fight, and smart enough to see beyond what individuals with much greater power, wealth, and position may want him to see. He makes fun of everyone, including himself, but somehow always ends up taking the part of the underdog, even to his own detriment. Someone this smart and unusual deserves a worthy love interest; when she comes along, that woman is Falco's equal and then some.

So: the settings are compelling, the main and secondary characters fascinating, the mystery intriguing, the scholarship superb. Can the writing keep pace? It can indeed, moving along at a fast and entertaining clip.

'....my mother did something rapid to a vegetable.'

'...I like my women in a few wisps of drapery: then I can hope for a chance to remove the wisps. It they start out with nothing I tend to get depressed because either they have just stripped off for someone else or else, in my line of work, they are usually dead.'

"...she hurtled up the steps of the Temple of Saturn straight towards me. 'Excuse me -' she gasped. 'Excuse ME!' She dodged, I dodged. She was a slight thing; I prefered them tall, but I was prepared to compromise. While we sashayed on the steps, she glanced back, panic-struck. I admired her shapely shoulder, then squinted over it myself. Two ugly lumps of jail-fodder, jellybrained and broad as they were high, were pushing through the crowds towards her. 'Get out of my way!' she pleaded. I wondered what to do. 'Manners!' I chided thoughtfully. 'Get out of my way SIR!' she roared. She was perfect!'

What Doesn't
Apprentice Writer can't think of anything.

Overall
Since its inception, the Falco series has grown into numerous volumes, giving the intrepid sleuth and his faithful life- and detection-companion many cases to solve all over the farflung Roman empire. They investigate with the occasional aid and more frequent obstruction of their families and friends. The many, many fans of this series look forward to catching up with developments in the lives of popular recurring secondary characters as much as puzzling out each new case. Some go so far as to recreate the dishes mentioned in the stories with painstaking attention to historical detail, and try to outdo one another in asking obscure questions of the author at her extensive website. To date, this immensly fun series shows no signs of growing stale.

But does it make you laugh? ABSOLUTELY
The humor is drawn in equal parts from Falco's skewed way of looking at life and his habit of verbal thrust and parry with almost everyone he meets, as well as from the way the author portrays ancient Roman customs (the goat that Falco drags across half the empire because he can't bear to ritually slaughter it, the headache he has caring for the Eternal City's sacred geese, the ticklish business of figuring out how to interact with Vestal Virgins, the indignities he suffers travelling as a seasick non-swimmer, the impetuous use to which he puts a Minotauran frieze....etc. etc.) The Roman Empire of these books is no dusty, dull place of boring senatorial discourse or theoretical military strategy. It is vibrantly, gloriously alive. This first volume kicking the whole thing off has no trouble clinching a spot on Apprentice Writer's Keeper shelf.

Page 1

"We were fractious and overpaid. Our mornings lacked promise. At least those of use who smoked had something to look forward to at ten-fifteen."

Joshus Ferris, 'Then We Came to the End'

Non-Laughter Lightning Reviews

Realized today that four historical romances have been 'consumed' in recent weeks. Good opportunity for a little lightning 'compare and contrast' -

1. No Regrets, by Michelle Ann Young (19th century England and France) -
Premise: BBW (for the uninitiated: big beautiful woman) cannot believe her childhood friend is genuinely attracted to her, and enters into a sham marriage for a limited time with him.

2. An Honorable Rogue, by Carol Townend (Medieval Brittany and South English coast) -
Premise: Young widow travels to England during unsettled times to marry a knight but is secretly attracted to travelling minstrel/spy escort.

3. And Then He Kissed Her, by Laura Lee Guhrke (19th century England)-
Premise: Female secretary to aristocratic newspaperman has authorly ambitions that challenge him on multiple levels.

4. Let Sleeping Rogues Lie, by Sabrina Jeffries (19th century England) -
Premise: Naturalist schoolteacher seeking to vindicate father makes a deal with a rake in order to use his connections.


Cover art: 'Best' goes to 'No Regrets' - lovely partial face detail taken from a classical painting. Stands out in a sea of masculine pectorals. 'Most reminiscent of a pantyhose commercial' goes to 'Sleeping Rogues' - nice purple background, but emphasis on apparently freshly shaven legs.


Heroine and Hero who grow on reader after initial dull impression: Emmaline and Harry from 'And Then...' Things don't look so good for them, reader-interest wise in the beginning, with many pages devoted to etiquette books and newsprint, but by the end reasons for their initial stiffness on multiple levels is clear and engages reader sympathy. Thankfully, they've also learned to be more flexible, and the banter between them is enjoyable. Very satisfying ending.


Biggest Pet Peeve: Two authors undermine their credibility by not applying foreign language snippets correctly. In one instance, the heroine answers in the affirmative when asked if she speaks French, but she does so IN ITALIAN. Or possibly Spanish; either way, it's not French. (Actually, to make things even more complicated, it IS French - only for 'if' instead of 'yes'.) In the second instance, the term 'comme il faut' ('as is necessary or required') is used to mean the opposite.


Most interesting historical detail: Easily 'Honorable Rogue'. Though the story had too much space devoted to hero and heroine endlessly reliving an early kiss and being dismayed that they were attracted to one another (first half) and Could Never Be Together (second half) and not enough about actual story developments for Apprentice Writer's taste, reading about the details of daily life (architecture, clothing, food, social classes, professions, customs, names) in such a fresh time/place combination was fascinating. Let Apprentic Writer be clear: the imbalance of hero/heroine introspection and plot points is not an indication of weakness of the book; it is an indication that AW is clearly not part of the target demographic for this particular imprint. Harlequin demands that its writers operate within tight wordcount and outline boundaries, for the simple reason that it provides a specific product for specific readership. That the story managed to capture AW's interest despite not being that reader is a testament to the skill of this author.

Most unusual stimulant: Countless historicals include an element of alcohol abuse, a few refer to opium, hashish or other narcotics. This was the first AW ever encountered involving nitrous oxide. Even better, it wasn't just a background detail at a party for jaded, fashionable aristocrats, but a major plotpoint, apparently based on real historical events. So although AW felt that there was a whole lot of buildup compared to how much space the actual party occupied, she still gives the author major credit for writing about something unusual. Plus: finding a way to insert a rhinoceros in the plot is always good.

Most puzzling self-image: Much of 'No Regrets' heroine's internal conflict revolves around comparison of her generously proportioned self with the slender sylphs she see around her, which has a negative effect on her self-esteem and leads to her refusal to accept that the hero could find her desirable. Modern mass media aggressively promotes thinness as a feminine ideal, so the thinking behind such internal conflict is not hard to follow. But: in the story, except for herself ,there weren't any characters that seemed to look down on the heroine due to her shape. To the contrary - younger sisters loved and respected her, female characters she met offered friendship or saw her as a equal, multiple male characters wished to pursue her, a long-lost relative expressed no disappointment. So, while AW very much enjoyed reading about a different type of heroine, and wouldn't wish sizeist rejection on her just for the hell of it, there was some feeling of disconnect.

Most tiresome device for expressing emotion: It is a constant challenge for authors to convey the emotion their characters feel without naming it explicitly. AW understands and empathizes with the difficulty. Even so, the heroine's habit in 'Honorable Rogue' of speaking in a mini-stutter whenever she felt nervous was so frequent AW started counting number of pages in between ocurences. There has to be a better way.

All in all - each story offered something unusual and worth reading about.

Bookbuilding - ANALYSIS

Today, our final field trip into the world of novelbuilding pitfalls.


After visits to the twin pitfalls of setting staticus and momentum mortus, and the twin pitfalls of cultura non-equus and non-persona, a look at

PRIMUS IMPRESSIO FALSUS

wherein a book's first chapter gives a wrong impression of what to expect. Example:

The Raven Prince, a historical romance by Elizabeth Hoyt, is the first in the 'Prince' trilogy which shot the author to the top of repeated 'Favorite Book of the Year' lists. This genre frequently features ideal heros and heroines in terms of physical attributes and personal accomplishments, presumably to intensify the fairy-tale quality of such stories. This pretty much always includes such feats of masculine manliness as the hero being the tallest, most handsome, best swordsman, best marksman, wealthiest stock market investor... The list goes on, and includes, perforce, best horseman.

So when the protagonists of this story meet by having him fall off his galloping horse at her feet it is unexpected - and funny. The hero's wounded pride is well written, and memorable. Even more so when touched upon again in a very amusing pseudo-interview the author conducts with the hero at the end of the book (AW assumes this was used elsewhere for publicity purposes):

"...Edward's responses to the Romance Hero Rule Book:
1. HEROES ARE ALWAYS HANDSOME.
(snort) Well, that one is plain ludicrous. Who wants to read about pretty boys and macaronis, I ask you? A scar here and there lends a certain gravitas to a gentleman's countenance.
2. HEROES SHOULD NEVER FALL OFF THEIR HORSE.
Libel, sirrah! I have never, EVER, fallen off my horse and I will meet in the field of honor anyone who dares say so. It is true that, upon occasion, I have been UNSEATED, but that could happen to any gentleman and is an entirely different matter.
3. AND IF THEY DO FALL OFF, THEY DO NOT SWEAR.
I was not swearing. I merely called the beast a revolting lump of maggot-eaten hide, and - follow my reasoning closely here - the horse did not know what I was saying.
4. HEROES DO NOT START BRAWLS IN BROTHELS.
I did not actually start the brawl. Besides, what would you have me do when attacked by four men? Note: I did END the brawl.
5. HEROES DO NOT HAVE TROUBLE KEEPING THEIR SECRETARIES.
I am not sure what you are getting at...
6. HEROES ALWAYS KEEP THEIR TEMPER.
I do not have a temper and anyone who says so- (censored)
7. HEROES SHOULD NOT FANTASIZE ABOUT THE BREASTS OF THEIR FEMALE SECRETARIES.
What kind of namby-pamby novels are we talking about here? I should think-
8. HEROES SHOULD BE ROMANTIC.
Ha! HA! I have you there! I will have you know that Anna found absolutely no fault with my lovemaking. In fact-
9. HEROES DO NOT CONFUSE ROMANCE WITH LOVEMAKING.
(censored)
10. HEROES SHOULD BE TRANSPORTED BY TRUE LOVE.
With that I have no argument."

The opening scene, especially when taken together with the publicity teaser, raises powerful hope that the ongoing story will be marked by similar-type humor. As it turns out, the story settles into and remains within more dramatic parameters. The writing is excellent and the story well worth reading, but doesn't return to that lighthearted initial tone. So while Apprentice Writer enjoyed the novel and can recommend it, she was perplexed about the author's decision to point a certain way with the groundwork and then go in another direction.

Another example of primus impressio falsus is the contemporary romantic suspense novel The Damsel in This Dress, by Marianne Stillings.

It opens flawlessly:

"Hold on while I get out my thesaurus: this review is going to require more words than my paltry vocabulary contains. Ah, here we go: junk, dross, rubbish, detritus (oh, that's a good one), baloney, claptrap, drivel... To continue would require more space than this column allows, so let me simply conclude by saying that 'Strike Three for Death', J. Soldier McKennit's latest so-called crime drama is a waste of time and money. The plot is ludicrous, the characters stereotypical, the writing amateurish. What less could one ask for?"

The heroine is a book reviewer, the hero a police officer-turned-author who heartily resents her reviews. The first chapter builds up their mutual dislike excellently and humorously, creating great anticipation for their first meeting at a writer's convention. The meeting scene worked, but from that point on, for Apprentice Writer, the story steadily deflated in humor and interest as the body count steadily climbed for no particularly good reason and it seemed as though the heroine was of the sort that expects the hero to be more in charge of getting things done than she herself. By the time the finale rolled around, this reader was more interested in what was going on in the subplot between the hero's brother and the heroine's friend than the primary pair.

It's possible that this was a reflection of the fact that this was the author's first book. There have been several since, and though Apprentice Writer has not had a chance to take a second look, based on the strength of this very funny first chapter, she still plans to do so.